Shameful Otaku Secret!

Or, how I learned to stop worrying and sort of like Macross 7

I have tried multiple times to watch Macross 7 in recent years — most recently at the onset of Frontier. I just couldn’t manage to get past the first few episodes. The dated-sounding music, the ceaseless dunderheadedness of protagonist Nekki Basara, the generally crappy animation quality. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, if I want to throw my weight around as a True Macross Fan, I’d have to get down to business and finish this sucker. The insistence of its fans that it was actually good didn’t hurt either.

Anyway. Fortunately, these days it’s totally unneccessary to spend big bucks on an unlicensed series. That’s right, unlicensed. The issues with Harmony Gold, Macross, and Robotech are well-documented and I guess in M7’s case they really got the better of the licensers.

According to Manga, those OVA tit-merchants I love so much [quoted for truth from Wikipedia]:

“It would take all the anime companies working together to be able to afford to bring the series over to America”

And I’m pretty sure if representatives from any of those companies have watched the series, that idea becomes even more laughable.

What’s the big deal?

There were innumerable things wrong with Macross 7 from the start, though there are some great things too. But the more I watch, the more I’ve come to love those things I saw as flaws.

The things I liked from the start:

• Maximillian Jenius, Millia Fallynia Jenius, and Exedol are back from SDF-Macross, acting as the big shots that war heroes of their caliber tend to end up being.
• Valkyries are updated to look like Stealth Fighters. Pretty neat. Which makes me wonder why the old standard fighter plane style came back in Plus and Frontier. At any rate, it’s classic Shouji Kawamori mecha and ship design.

The things I warmed up to:

• I’m finally coming around to Nekki Basara. He’s a real dolt, but he gains depth as the series goes.
• Mylene Jenius, daughter of Millia and Max, also grows as a character after starting off kinda bratty. Plus, she’s good in a Valkyrie and shows far more spunk than emo Ranka — although she’s just as bafflingly short, being half-Zentradi.
• The comedic/goofy feel finally stopped confusing and pissing me off. This is most decidely not Macross Plus. The flower groupie is freaking hilarious, deadpan Meltran drummer Veffidas is used sparingly for laughs now and again, and don’t get me started on the whacked-out Dr. Chiba. Tonal change in the second half? It’s possible.

Things I still can’t get over:

• The music just isn’t up to snuff. Like most Macross series, M7 is all about the music. But the rock anthems (or “folk oldies,” as Alto called them) of Fire Bomber sound hopelessly dated and cheeseball even for the time. Remember 1994? Nirvana was on top of the charts, but the music writers behind Macross 7 were still jamming Twisted Sister and the Crüe on the tape decks in their Camaros — and watering the cock-rock down with anime-pop overtones. To make matters worse, there’s a shortage of tunes. Whereas Yoko Kanno writes a new song for Frontier every time a major character takes a shit, and then pads those with Mari Ijima’s Minmay classics, M7 constantly assaults its viewers with Fire Bomber’s signature hit, “Planet Dance.” I think “Totsugeki Love Heart” has a solid melody and is totally listenable, but after how many more times listening to it will I still think that? I have heard rumors that a couple Minmay hits will rear their heads, so here’s hoping.
• The animation and production values are right up there with the music. SDF Macross looks a little dated, sure, but was great for its time. Do You Remember Love? still looks good for any time. Macross Plus (also from ‘94) is a marvel of early computer-assisted work. Macross 7, however, is cheap-looking and cheap-sounding. Sound effects are of the cheap analog synth variety, recycling runs wild, Variable Fighter transformation scenes are often instant or skipped over entirely, and no one’s going to confuse Fire Bomber’s concerts with Haruhi’s any time soon. On the plus side, it’s consistently mediocre rather that alternatingly impressive/horrific, like some other Macross series I know.

Time (and just under 30 more episodes) will tell whether I consider Macross 7 as deserving of the name as the rest of the OVAs and TV series that bear the Macross name. I’m already tired of the songs and the awful VHS-rip files that are the only reasonable method of watching.

What ’bout my peg leg

Well, well. When Ozma and Cathy finally bring Captain Global whatever his name is news of Leon’s assassination of the president, and that same Leon somehow cons Bilrer into folding SMS into NUNS, it’s munity on Macross Quarter, complete with jolly pirate lingo. But our favorite cabin boy won’t be along for the ride, as he’s finally discovered he’s in it for the laydeez. Some truly random thoughts:

Alto and Luca talking after testing the warheads was a bit melancholy, somehow the execution of this scene made the absence of Michel very noticeable. Well done, for once, Satelite. In fact, animation was right on for the first time in a while, even as Geass seems to be running out of steam. But the characters don’t necessarily seem on model if you rewind 20 episodes back, especially Ozma’s thin face and Cathy’s overpowering eyes.

Ozma and Cathy wandering through the wrecked Frontier was very reminiscent of Hikaru and Hayase searching the scorched Earth for remains of life. I think that’s the first really big reference I’ve seen in a while to the old school.

Let’s get this girl back on track with a retro-80s synth pop band: Sheryl and the Fold Waves! Get me Elmo’s number! At any rate, Sheryl and Ranka have reversed places so many times now I’m not sure who’s who.

The new Sheryl song is probably the most Yoko-Kanno-like tune in the Frontier repertoire. Mayhaps she’s wearing through her ability to write idol pop?

Klan providing a pep talk is good, but probably the last significant thing she’ll do in the series.

The call-up (text-up? Mail up?) was very fist-pumping, though by no means quite like the similar TTGL episode. And without Alto on board it’s not quite the same. But despite what Ozma says, Alto does have his own agenda, even if he’s just now figuring out what it is.

Ranka’s gone to space, Sheryl’s gonna die… Perfect situation for Alto, he can play the man’s part without ever having to worry about rings, station wagons, kids (Vajra or otherwise), or mortgages.

Lots of love for you Sheryl fans this episode.

And it’s nice to see a Macross episode contrast a space battle with some kind of singing concert. Pretty sure I’ve never seen that before. Also fairly certain that I could be more subtle in sarcasm.

Grace continues to prove herself a worthy opponent, even if we’re still not truly aware of her ultimate goal — especially now that she’s dropped Leon in favor of her own breasts.

And finally Brera and Ranka arrive at the Earthlike Vajra home world, much to the delight of the Vajra there, who are conviently psychic and speak Japanese.

Let’s bring this home. Only a few more episodes, hopefully the budget and the story can maintain. These past 4 or 5 episodes of Frontier have really cured the bad case of give-a-shits I previously had, but thanks to #22, I think I might actually be back to caring.

Alto’s Last Stand

Alto stared into the dressing room mirror, but he wasn’t seeing anything anymore. His tired vision looked past the graying circles under his eyes, and his luxurious hair pulled out in clumps as he aimlessly brushed it. To an objective, outside observer, he was as beautiful as ever. But the stress of the Miss Macross competition was starting to take its inevitable toll.

What a pipe dream this was all turning out to be! That rosy-cheeked bastard Luca had put on a sympathetic face when Alto shot down Mikhail’s Valkyrie, killing him instantly.

If it hadn’t been for the smug little punk throwing himself between Alto’s face and Ozma’s fist, there would be no Kabuki fallback career for the Princess, no matter how much makeup there was in the world. Shame his young face was so ruined now, right alongside Ozma’s shattered life.

But sympathy wasn’t something Alto felt deserving of. He felt like he was taking advantage of the entire world, slacking off thanks to his own ineptitude. Advantage of dead Michel, who he’d killed himself. Advantage of Sheryl, who’d pulled the strings to get him into the contest so late. Even her.

Ranka Lee.

In another life, a life not lived singing endless retreads of Minmay jingles, Alto thought that perhaps the two of them could have been friends, if not… more. But here in the heat of competition, that heartless bitch wouldn’t give him the time of day, except to attack him in one of their many physical confrontations.

Not that she needed to be so cruel — her maddeningly cute and disturbingly expressive bunny-ear hair gave her an unfair advantage that no one in the contest was ready for.

A knock came at his dressing room door.

“What is it,” he moaned.

“Let me in, I need to talk to you.” Speak of the green-coiffed Devil, and so shall she appear at your door. Alto’s jaw tightened, and he made a little grunting noise like everyone in Shakugan No Shana does when the camera cuts to them.

“It’s open,” he growled.

Ranka opened his door in her usual domineering but somehow graceful way. Though she stood no higher than his shoulder (an advantage he was more than willing to count his blessings for), her authoritative and overbearing personality made her appear larger than life. The swimsuit competition was tonight, and she was wearing a pink bikini that was fairly demure for the competition, but nonetheless looked downright dirty on her. Maybe it was her, or maybe it was the fact that she looked about 12.

Alto didn’t feel much like a woman when he looked at her in that thing. He felt the strain of his own sexual duality pushing feebly against the fabric of his underoos.

“You like what you see,” she sneered at him with bloodshot half-opened eyes, “or you just scared of how bad this is gonna crush you tonight?” Alto grimaced as the stench of old vodka finally made its way across the room to his finely-shaped nostrils.

“Eh,” Ranka scoffed, “Who am I kidding? You’re just a no good trap-ass fag, anyway.” Alto’s grimace of disgust turned into a drooping sigh of defeat. Night after night of this, eventually it wore him down. His perfect eyeliner and tasteful mascara were suddenly at great risk. Moisture built up in his eyes until they appeared to shake, or at least that’s how they were represented by the animators.

“I guess I won’t be seeing much of you anymore, since you’re going to lose tonight, so, good luck with life, fag.” And with that, Ranka turned back to the door.

Alto’s brain had ceased to function. He was no longer a pretty pretty princess; her endless abuse had transformed him into a wild animal. A bear, perhaps. An angry, somehow sexual bear. Or a wildcat. Rar!

As he launched himself from his chair, his brush flew behind him and tears streamed, sparkling, all around his face. Vague speed lines began to form, but faded again, as if realizing that he was only traveling 4 or 5 feet. Before he knew it, his hand was locked firmly around Ranka’s wrist, which suddenly seemed so tiny and fragile. She looked back over her shoulder at him with a mix of shock and no small amount of fear.

“I’m not… gay!” he growled through clenched teeth at her.

Her fear melted into her usual egomaniacal smirk.

“Then prove it, trap.”

Alto yanked Ranka toward his body by the wrist, and the surprise returned to her face. He wrapped his other hand around her bare midsection and pressed her against him tightly. She was stiff at first, but softened, and finally her free arm threw itself around his neck. The positioning of arms and legs became horribly confusing for a minute, but as his resolve strengthened, so did other parts of his anatomy that he was far more sure about.

“I fucking will.”

Fin.

HAHAHA that is the sound of me laughing at myself because I am a fucking idiot. There is an increasing trend in episodic blogging against actual episodic blogging, i.e., summaries, which I think is great, and I will take credit for it — but rather than rest on my laurels as an innovator, I must continue to innovate by blogging NEXT WEEK’S EPISODES before they happen. And, just to be safe and make sure no one else is doing what I am, I will do it as horrible fanfic!

I hope anyone reading that paragraph is keen on what jokes are. But seriously, we got some great development on the classic Macross Triangle principle this week, and the preview shows Ranka in a Minmay-esque dress while singing, with the translation “this song of antiquity will resonate throught the galaxy.” So far Macross F has shown the greatest parallels to the original of any other Macross series, so to me that means that I must pray to not be subjected to “My Boyfriend is a Pirate PILOT” shit I keep doing that for the entirety of the episode. I’m guessing Yoko Kanno is going to go in a different, some would argue better, direction. And yes, Ranka in a bikini. You sick fucks.