Shameful Otaku Secret!

Ah, springtime. When youth gets all crazy and hormonal and foists its most “ecchi” visions into your unwitting eyes holes like some kind of televisual skullfucking.

Except it’s fall, and anime is made by dirty old men. Case in point, Sora No Otoshimono, which is (choose one):

• One of the many high caliber titles available this season from Crunchyroll’s online stream, along with season 67 of Shugo Chara
• Standard wish-fulfillment anime crossed with a standard comedic anime
• Obsessed with panties
• Something something cancer

If you answered “uuuuuuugh,” you’re right!

I know I said I wasn’t watching anything new this season, but I thought I’d give this a shot for no really good reason. Sora No Otoshimono is, in all likelihood, a steaming pile of crap, an underpants-obsessed shounen comedy romp with the typical 9-year-old’s giggle-giggle view on sex. And it will likely turn into a harem.

But then again, perhaps it’s a deep meditation on the nature of desire, the effects of indulging your basest fantasies, and the dangerous consequences of getting what you wished for — you know, like The Monkey’s Paw with drawers.

I suppose the only way to objectively discover which of these is true is to lay out the good and bad.

Sora No Otoshimono: The Cons (also known as: the cliches and tropes used)

1. A pervert no-good Tenchi of a lead character
2. An obsession with breasts
3. A girl falling from the sky who warrants her own sub-list
   1. An alien
   2. An angel
   3. A robot
   4. who grants wishes
   5. on a leash
4. Oh-so-tsundere Karate chops from a cute childhood friend who takes good care of good-for-nothing lead (see #1)
5. Naked and/or “on top of” misunderstandings (I never would have imagined she’d walk into the room right then)
6. “[character name] no baka”
7. Wacky extras
8. “Kiddy” panties with animal mascot, worn by lead girl (This one’s for you, Akamatsu-sensei!)
9. Sweet moments of wonderful cuteness after an episode-long debacle, re-ruined by baka character just as things get lovely

The pros

Called attacks. These were all magical crotch coverups as lead character (whose name was… hmmmm it’ll come to me) tried to save the modesty of lead girl (ah, shit, her name was…), whose modesty he had of course compromised himself. I’m not going to say we’ve never seen a comedy that parodies the dirt-old concept of the called out attack, but maybe this one just hasn’t gotten quite old enough to me yet.

Flying panties. Let’s reiterate. Flying. Panties. I mean, seriously, majestically flapping their way across the landscape, migrating in formation, being observed by the masses, briefly lighting on a tree before moving on, shining in the sun. The idea is stupid, as is the whole panty-obsessed episode 2, but the execution of this one idea is colossal. Perhaps it’s even enough to justify the existence of the whole series. Doubtful.

Use of the best phrase in the world. Whether this is a subtitling coup or an actual line of dialog, it matters little.

The verdict

Obviously the balance is not in favor of Sorta Not Entirely Unwatchable, but as its name implies, it’s not entirely unwatchable. It’s certainly less awful than To Love-Ru’s anime adaptation so far, and it brought a few laughs that weren’t just boneheaded physical comedy, tit-groping, or cheap references. Not many, but a man dying in the desert doesn’t scoff at tap water.

I mentioned my viewing to ghostlightning and he seemed to think that watching, or at least starting, a truly awful show just for the sake of doing so was actually an SOS tradition. Do I? Really? Do that?

Does anyone else ever do this to themselves, or is masochism a unique character flaw? And more importantly…

Not sure what made me think Hatsukoi Limited would be a good idea to watch. Maybe it was the constant nagging mental failure upon seeing its name that made me think of Futakoi Alternative.

Yep.

Anyway, seeing as how we’re not getting another Futakoi Alternative, I grabbed a couple episodes of Hatsukoi (”First Love”) Limited. I guess I kinda thought it was a shoujo, but the sort of pervy vibe that permeates the whole thing tells me otherwise. Now, I’ve never read the manga, and I suppose the writer, along with JC Staff’s director, might be going the Girls’ High route — i.e., kids are pretty fucked up balls of hormones so let’s reflect on their lives with low-ass camera angles and tight pink shorts. Fortunately, the first two episodes were far more entertaining than Girls’ High’s entire retarded run. Granted, that’s not saying much, but still.

Not what you think.

That said, what you have is a cute story of interconnecting first loves — so far, middle schooler Ayumi has a crush on charming Mamoru, who carried her fireman-style to the nurse after she fainted from the fear of being courted/stalked by Mamoru’s own high school-age beast of a brother Misao. Further exascerbating the convolution is Mamoru’s own crush: he and Misao’s childhood friend Misaki, who’s two years older, sees him as a little brother, and isn’t interested in gettng mixed up with boys right now. But wears tight pink shorts and crawls through his window. Good God, poor kid.

why, exactly?

Misao is a funny character (if not that original), a giant stubbly Ikki Tousen extra who can pound any kid in Japan but folds his laundry neatly, feeds the birds, and has an inescapable crush on a middle schooler. Yeah, it’s a tiny touch creepy but is painted as just pathetic enough to work. And when he nobly comes to her rescue, well, it’s a little touching.

touching.

Ayumi-chan is a little heap of moe who’s not so defenseless as to be annoying or even too typical, but her shimapan (which are usually symbolic of immaturity) give away her underlying personality. Misaki is the typical mature-girl archetype who of course will find out she’s not as adult as she thought, etc. I’m not sure how much any of the rest of the large cast will fit into this; are their stories going to be involved in the web of panties and love as well?

and I'll love her and hug her and squeeze her and call her George

At any rate, this was a bit dumb but a decent watch. I was sufficiently entertained by the light humor, cute story of poor Misao, and of course the tight pink shorts. The age of some characters is a little scandalous for my taste, but the show has some real production values so the pantyshots seem a little less gratuitous than if they were just thrown into a cheap-ass show to keep people watching (Gonzo, I love you still, but I’m looking right at you). Also, the thugs’ argument about taking a poop was gold. I’ll keep watching for now.

Featuring Round 5 recap

Round 5 (aka episode 6 for both Kanokon and To Love-Ru) was another upset for the champ, but not really because TLR did anything too great. Kanokon gave us little to go on other than Chizuru’s sexy board game and some foot action underneath the kotatsu. That’s not good for much in a show where we’ve seen bare-assed spankings. TLR continued to dedicate itself to the old school with Haruna probably being tentacle-raped.

There are really so many, so many, just a LOT of things wrong with any sentence featuring the words “probably tentacle-raped,” and if that show makes me say it again, it loses by default. Here’s a screen that should stop you from wanting to see it.

On to current happenings! Clicking “read more” may actually be NSFW, depending on where you work (Jason…) (more…)