Shameful Otaku Secret!

As a public service, here’s a list of terms you might find useful, if for no other reason than you won’t be caught with Wikipedia’s entry for Moe on your browser.

Anime – Cartoons. From Japan. Literally, “Pornographic animation.”

Fanservice – If you have to ask, you probably don’t feel like you’re being “served” by it, and that’s OK, it’s pretty nast a lot of times. Fanservice basically means elements of a show or movie that are nothing more than animated concessions to “fans”: sometimes it’s overblown robot transformations or elaborate fight scenes, but usually “fanservice” is synonymous with “panty shots.”

Gainax – Animation studio who came out in the 90s based on the strength of their opening animations for their own fan-curated anime cons. They were conceived as the ultimate by-otakus, for-otakus creator, and have made some of the most revolutionary and interesting shows around, including Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fooly Cooly, and Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi. They are not beyond reproach, however, as proven by This Ugly Yet Beautiful Piece of Shit. Notorious for over-spending and under-planning early in a series, making endings somewhat dodgy affairs. This fanboy-created group tends to inspire fanboying themselves.

Harem – A genre of dramas or comedies in anime where one lone idiot is plagued by the problem of too many girls.

Kawamori - Japanese for “Hippie.”

Kyoto Animation – A small studio whose shit does not stink, largely thanks to their super popular dramas based on Key’s visual novels, and to The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. They like their eyes big, their skirts short, and their girls heavy on pathos (at least in the visual novel adaptations). They’ve even done action, in Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid. People like them. True fact: Googling “Kyoto Animation sucks” yields zero results (verification pending).

Light Novel – Nothing like a visual novel despite the fact that you must use your eyes to read it, this is a partially illustrated book with no big words, and lots of dialog. They’re made to be a fast read to appeal to manga readers (and destined for eventual anime adaptation), and tend to be serial. Haruhi Suzumiya is one of the most famous series of light novels.

Mobile Suit – The first “real robots,” mobile suits are not robots at all but robotic humanoid shaped weapons piloted by soldiers in the Gundam universe. In a more generic terminology would be mecha — literally “pornobot.”

Moe – Rhymes with “oh hey!” or “0day” in case you’re wondering, and resists attempts to translate to pig latin. Big eyes, pity, tragic pasts, weakness or sickness, shyness, and of course pathos. That classic “thing to protect.” Or maybe not — In spite of its being bandied about a lot, this seems to be sort of a nebulous quality to English-speakers. In fact, you can go pretty crazy trying to define it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion – A show about the science of psychology. Also Jesus.

OP – The opening music and animation from an anime show. Don’t ask me why it stands for opening theme.

Otaku - Something akin to “fanboy,” but that hardly begins to describe the truth. Implies a dedication that is creepy, smelly, money-spendy, kind of… wrong.

Tomino – A guy who kills not because he has to — although trust him, war is hell — but because he loves to.

Tsundere – Essentially a character who seems crusty or hard-assed on the outside, but is really just as moe as any other on the inside. This creates the illusion of “depth,” while simultaneously giving the lonely and shy anime viewer a false sense of security about confident women. There are two major types of tsundere, the hot-cold-hot-cold type who fluctuates often, and those who undergo the gradual transformation from big meanie to lovey dovey over the course of an anime series. Comes from “tsun-tsun,” meaning “bitchy, with a tendency to say ‘baka’ a lot” and “dere-dere,” literally “desiring penis.”

Visual Novel – A video game that may or may not be sexy, probably is creepy, and is usually somewhere between a wank tool and a choose your own adventure. Some are called eroge, literally “pedogame.”

Wackiyuki Shinbo – A divisive and controversial figure in the anime world. To some, a genius. To others, a hack with a single gimmick. But even the haters should really admit to themselves: he’s actually got a whole truckload of gimmicks! Shinbo is a prominent director and supervisor with the studio SHAFT and is fond of clever sight gags, use of text, experimental visuals, and for pushing the envelope of fanservice until you feel the need to bathe.