Shameful Otaku Secret!

Featuring Round 5 recap

Round 5 (aka episode 6 for both Kanokon and To Love-Ru) was another upset for the champ, but not really because TLR did anything too great. Kanokon gave us little to go on other than Chizuru’s sexy board game and some foot action underneath the kotatsu. That’s not good for much in a show where we’ve seen bare-assed spankings. TLR continued to dedicate itself to the old school with Haruna probably being tentacle-raped.

There are really so many, so many, just a LOT of things wrong with any sentence featuring the words “probably tentacle-raped,” and if that show makes me say it again, it loses by default. Here’s a screen that should stop you from wanting to see it.

On to current happenings! Clicking “read more” may actually be NSFW, depending on where you work (Jason…) Witness the horror! Read on!

- otou-san out!

Her future’s so bright…

I still don’t know what to make of this show. Masamune Shirow and Production IG put their heads together and give us fanservice first, then filler?

— actually, maybe you have a chance. Those legs...

Recap

An avatar called Iron Schwartz (I shit you not) from the Metal built for streetfighting, with a propensity for dislocating his opponents’ joints after defeating them, gets uploaded into an android. That android subsequently goes berserk dislocating random shoppers at the mall.

aaaww don’t do — aaaaaaaawwww. ouch.

Minamo happens to be in the mall at the time, looking for expensive antique diving sunglasses she can give to Haru. But when she finds them, Schwartz-bot thinks they’re his and starts chasing her all over the place. After a bit of chase scene action, Nyamo-chan runs into a real-fight club where her brother is sitting with Holon, grilling her over her fighting techniques.

First rule is, you do not talk about Iron Schwartz.

Souta, with some help from Holon, manages to give himself an ego boost by defeating the unbeatable Schwartz, but not until after Minamo tries to stop the fight by giving the robot the glasses. Unfortunately, the expensive glasses break, but at the end, Haru bestows his own old ones on her.

Thoughts

There were actually a couple laughs in this episode, mostly from the hilariously brutal droid with the hilariously ridonkulous name, Iron Schwartz. His habit of dislocation is so over the top and gnarly that it’s actually funny, as is the moment when a patron of the fight club tries to shake his hand and gets his head kicked in. It’s like when punches in Fist of the North Star go through people’s faces. You just have to laugh a little. Minamo’s little sunglasses war when she first meets Schwartz has great comic timing too.

The guy on the right went on to win the Life Magazine photography award that year.

But what are they playing at, anyway? Five episodes in, we’ve just barely established the gist of the series, and already we’re blessed with filler? I can’t see how this will have any bearing on the overall story — it didn’t even really have Haru in it. And while we’re complaining: if it can’t have any meaningful plot, why not a little touch of fanservice? You know, outside of those now-infamous and oddly satisfying Real Drive thighs. But Shirow is Shirow, and true to I.G. form, even this episode looked fantastic, so I’d be silly to quit now when they could have so much more in store.

Eat up, Nyamo-chan! The viewers demand more ass!

- otou-san out!

Long stretch for a bad title, I know.

Seeing as how there are no actual “blogosphere stars” involved, even if such a thing did exist.

Anyway, after much deliberation, I’ve decided to take my podcast idea to an open call for help over at Yukan Blog. Everyone knows a solo podcast is about as entertaining as 51-card solitaire, so head over there even if you’re not a Yukan person to volunteer.

I promise to blow sunshine up your ass about how you have a “voice for radio,” and not make any jokes about your “face for radio.”

- otou-san out!