Shameful Otaku Secret!

No deathmatch this week.

Why? Read more to find out. (more…)

What are you doing?

OK how many of you weaboos out there are “web 2.0″ enough to be on Twitter? If not, you should really give it a shot, especially the bloggers. It’s a pain in the ass to explain Twitter, but basically you talk about what you’re doing in 140 characters or less. They call it “micro-blogging,” and aside from being able to broadcast the most inane, banal minutiae of your boring-ass life, it’s great training for being a more efficient, clever-pants writer. I’ve used it in my “real” life for quite a while, but I thought I’d try an SOS account. So far it’s been great for getting out initial reactions to shows etc. etc. You may have noticed it in the sidebar a couple weeks ago, but I took it out because Twitter is notoriously slow and tends to hang the site.

So point your webernet browsing device to http://www.twitter.com/otakusecret and start following me for more prolific updates than I give on the blog. Or don’t. I’ll only be marginally offended.

Miss Macross

Holy cow, what a week! I originally wrote a bunch of excuses here, but hands up who wants to read that. I thought so.

Recap

I fucking called it, bitches! The silliest and most endlessly-repeated ditty in the original Macross’s lineup, “My Boyfriend Is A Pilot,” was Ranka’s Miss Macross song.

I actually was joking about that, but to find I was right actually got me a little nostalgic and even pumped up. Not to mention I also called that Alto would shoot down Mikhail in training by accident, be forced to trade in his pilot suit for a bikini and have to enter Miss Macross himself, only to find Ranka a jaded maneater, but I suppose that too was a joke. Right?

Revelations!

• My Boyfriend Is Indeed a Pilot! Congratulations, princess. We knew you could do it. If you couldn’t, this series would be really short and pointless. But the fact that he managed to pass his training mission by killing a real live Vajra with no guns is impressive. Also, he poses in the mirror.
• Leon and Catherine may be on the rocks! He wouldn’t by chance be sleeping with her because of her daddy, would he?
• Sheryl is seriously going to fuck up Ranka’s day! She may be feeding the kid inspirational words to her face, but she sure has an eye for Alto.
• The official Macross Bikini is millimeters away from buttcrack city!
  
• Princess and Pappy are not on good terms! Saotome-san the senior didn’t even acknowledge that he knew who his son was. Apparently quitting the Kabuki circuit is a big deal.
• The military is totally useless! Only Blackwater SMS can get the job done.
• Ranka is pretty damn cute! In fact, much too adorable to win a beauty pageant. Because “cute” doesn’t mean “prance around sexfully and wow the judges with your immense rack,” it means “try to bow but instead bang your noggin against the microphone.” Kawaii, motherfuckers!
• Certain aspects of anime make me really uncomfortable if I think too hard about them! Wait, that’s no revelation, that’s a fact of life I live with on a near-daily basis. What the hell is Crackhead Mike on about?

I’m pleased as punch that the Zentradi are back in my life, but the first full-fledged one we meet changes from a huge-breasted Amazon beast into a Loudmouthed Loli when she hits the Micloning machine.

This is a few kinds of wrong.

1. The loudmouthed loli archetype is already a means of veiling pedophiliac tendencies behind a thin wall of “comedy.” Naming a loudmouthed loli as your favorite character just means you think her “comedic” “antics” are trés hilarious!
2. The fact that Klan is, in her true form, a real woman with gigundic bouncing tits further legitimizes your attraction, you sick puppy.
3. Lolification is a real trend, whether you enjoy it or are indifferent to it, and now it’s in my Macross, which is worse than that time you got your chocolate in my peanut butter. Ranka was one thing, but it’s spreading.

Kilobytes upon kilobytes have been written on this subject, and I’m not trying to add fuel to that monotonous and endless fire. Or am I? I definitely don’t want to be associated with my more prudish countrymen at places like ANN, i.e.,  “I write vicious indictments of harmless TV series because secretly I’m fapping to this shit and I’m as culturally hypocritical as five Japanese people stacked together.” Just wanted to give my thoughts. I’m fresh off starting an ef review, and I was struck by the reverse situation (”my body is basically an ok place in some jurisdictions but I have the mind of a 12-year-old, fetishize me please”), so maybe I’m being overly sensitive right now. Also, I’m just a little touchy about Macross.

Final Thoughts: Take care of yourselves (and each other)

I’m probably sensitive because Macross F is thus far the closest parallel to the original that I’ve seen, and it’s so pants-shittingly exciting sometimes — even “My Boyfriend Is A Pirate” got me going — but I’m just waiting for it to go to pot. It hasn’t yet: this was my favorite episode — it had the singing, it had the fighting, it had hints of the drama revving up. And it was awesome! Bonus points: froggy cellphone, Valkyrie backpack, extreme jiggle factor (legitimately for lulz).