DAMN YOU PIRATE, MAKE SENSE!

YES

OK, I get it. You can’t write a short little tossed-off post about how you don’t like some sacred-cow anime series and toss in a questionably humorous infographic. You’ll just get trolled, then accused of trolling, and what’s more, zaitcev won’t even link to you (update: seriously? Now he does? What does that do to my point?).

So here’s a more thought-out post, because I wanted to talk about how Clannad sucks/does not suck, not how much I am/am not a troll, which is frankly retarded. First off, an assumption: I don’t necessarily believe in this supposed Kyoto Hype Machine, and I won’t cite it as an argument. Not because I think it’s mythical or overstated, like “liberal media,” but because I have faith in the ability of people to form their own opinions. That’s probably my first mistake, but oh wells.

I’m also not going to take an ultra-stubborn stance on this, either — I’ve watched 30-some episodes of this series, and if every last thing about it sucked, what would that say about me? Don’t answer that.

Now, time to make an honest woman out of this topic. Hopefully reasonable discourse will keep Owen the trolls out of here.

The Characters

A commenter, tai, who seemed to actually want to talk about it, cited “character” as the driving force behind Clannad, specifically “being able to understand how they feel in the circumstances provided.” Now, they say the secret to writing good fiction is developing good characters and then placing them in a situation, where they act for themselves because they’re real enough. With visual novels, I would assume that good characters are important for a quality product because the narrative itself is mutable and characters need to believably fit into multiple situations. When I say “good characters,” though, sadly what passes are “serviceable characters,” and too often in anime that means resorting to archetypes.

I’m not feeling any of the supposed character traits of Clannad’s cast, beyond those archetypical attributes (with a few exceptions, mostly in the Furukawa clan). Let’s not get caught up in Kyoto’s execution: realistic body language and uncompromising animation tend to instill even the cartooniest of characters with faux-realism that makes up for their shortcomings as well-rounded, well-written characters.

The Family Element

One of everyone’s favorite things about Clannad seemed to be its focus on family. But I can’t quite get what it is about family that it’s trying to say. I feel like I’m watching Clannad waffling between two points: One is that family is very important, and that we shouldn’t lose or take for granted those bonds of blood. The other is that family can be whatever you want it to be, and the important people around you, about whom you care, are in effect your family members. Which of these is what matters? In the end, it all seems pretty vague.

I’m not asking for one of Takashi Miike’s deranged dissertations on the nature of a family unit, or even Judd Apatow’s lame whitebread confirmation of family values, I just want folks to give this a real evaluation before they vaguely cite “family themes” as a great strength of Clannad.

Doing too much, yet not quite doing enough.

Clannad’s scope is admirable. While on one hand it focuses on a fairly close group of people, that’s a lot of characters to explore if you go into any depth. It’s nothing like delving into the backstory of some Imperial planet’s viscount’s daughter for an entire episode in Legend of the Galactic Heroes, but then again, what is.

The scope in each of Kyoto’s adaptations has grown immensely both in cast and episode count. In fact, Clannad is the longest series in Kyoto Animation’s history, if I’m not mistaken (excepting their work on InuYasha). Air was compact and efficient in delivering a sucker-punch of emotion that was old hat by the time Kanon came around, so Clannad aimed to work things a little differently.

But step one was a stumble, with Fuko’s arc taking up way too many episodes (and plenty of people agree with me there). What that says to me is from the get-go, Kyoto were struggling to effectively fill up all 50 episodes. The beginning of After Story has proven that again, but instead of a recycled Kanon story, we’ve been so far treated to a wash of meaningless ho-hum stuff that lacks any emotional impact or the humor (both intentional and otherwise) of season one’s best moments. There were a couple laughs in that boring baseball episode, but what do you remember after watching — that you chuckled a couple times or that you just watched a boring-ass baseball episode?

Representation

This is the real story behind my realism argument. Did anyone really think I demand 100% regular-old believability from my anime? If so, I’ll go quit now and go watch some show about giant robots, space pirates, or guys who make peoples’ heads implode by punching. I briefly mentioned that I think Clannad is guilty of representing, or talking about, the situations in which its characters find themselves, rather than showing them for real. This might have been a mistake on my part — not because it’s not true, though. It might be a mistake because on a purely objective level, I could be judging with a double standard. After all, what anime doesn’t resort to symbolism, archetyping, and short-cutting to some degree?

But it does irritate me for some reason in Clannad, subjectively. I feel like every story, every character, every situation is encased in a thick fuzzy-bunny layer that I would have to tear through in order to get to the real essence. Are we meant to perceive this as dreamlike or memorial, since inevitable tragedy will strike somewhere down the road and shit’s gonna get “real?” Or is the Key world just one of gauzy soft-focus fantasy that happens to resemble the real one? We already know that supernatural events can happen, but somehow that doesn’t even bother me. It’s the lack of feeling like anything matters, since they’re all essentially good people for whom real strife just plain doesn’t exist — though it’s hard to nail this down to a “why,” it doesn’t feel as if any person can actually affect another. And with that supposedly being the series’ main thrust, what’s left for me?

Counter

In service to Clannad, I’ll say two things: It’s always well-animated (except for brief drops in the final bits of season one), and it’s refreshingly low on pathos compared to its predecessors. Air probably worked on me because it was my first; with Kanon I sort of let it work even though I was watching it work. Now with Clannad, I’m just plain cynical, but we have been mostly rewarded (past the Fuko arc) with more humor than weepy-weeps. That isn’t likely to last, though.

Sure, visual novel adaptations aren’t really my preferred genre. It’s no surprise that the series that try to look less like VN adaptations are more my cup of tea. Kyoto Animation has made that their M.O. since Air, or at least it’s seemed like that. But for some unfortunate reason, the more they attempt to downplay the harem/VN style, the more it’s called to my attention.

And… I’m spent.

Anyway. Obviously plenty of people take issue with my opinion, some even take offense. What I want to hear is people convincing me I’m wrong, not telling me i’m an asshole. Step up! I believe in you.

Update: Misplaced belief FTL! Here’s a news flash: I’m not important. I’m not worth talking about. I just wanted to talk about Clannad. Before anyone else unoriginally says they agree with Baka-Raptor, read my response to him.

As evidenced by the last post, I picked up a lot of shows in the spring, and added Xam’d to that list for the summer. I need a bit of a break now. So I’m going to be pretty strict on what I’m watching with the upcoming season. Here’s what I’m avoiding:

• Sequels – This takes Hell Girl, Nodame Cantabile, and Gundam 00 off the table. Also, Vampire Knight, but that fits the “I hate vampires (still willing to go back and try Hellsing)” rule, the “no shoujo” rule, and the “Vampire Knight is shit” rule.
• Game adaptations – Wow, two strikes for Sunrise, with Tales of the Abyss. I just don’t do those things. Druaga didn’t count because it was an 8-bit game and they didn’t play it straight. That goes (mostly) for visual novels, too.
• Mindless Fanservice – Oh, Rosario+Vampire… yeah. Already a sequel, too.
• J.C. Staff – I’m convinced they don’t know how to pace a series. Nabari No Ou has followed Shana’s same pattern, and it has yet to pick back up. That means, To Aru Majutsu no Index, and Toradora… you’re out. Auf wiedersehen.
• Crazy pedo-factor – That’s par for the course. Even Shana makes me slightly uncomfortable when I take a step back. But I say hey, it’s Japan, shake it off, and go read Atarashii Prelude. Macademi Wasshoi! though… that creeps me right the hell out.
• Shoujo – In case you missed it… not a girl. Itazura is enough for a while.
• Sports – Sorry to break it to you, One Outs. I hate sports anime. Probably because I hate sports.
• Gundam – Just as a bonus, even though Gundam 00 was already precluded for being a sequel. Watching it just reminded me how much I don’t like Gundam.

What might get me watching

• Good actors – Aya Hirano in Hyakko, for instance. But Strike Witches is full of fan-favorite, sex-on-tape seiyuus and it’s still pure crap. So maybe not.
• Really nice style – Yozakura Quartet looks like it has it,
• More Gonzo 0-day streaming – Not sure if they’ll do that with Kurogane no Linebarrel, but if so I’ll check it out. Been a while since I saw a good Super Robot show anyway.
• Old-school vibes – Michiko To Hatchin seems to fit the bill, possibly. Casshern SINS actually is old school. I have the pseudo-live-action movie, and it’s really cool even though it’s 18 hours long and has one of those “who gives a shit anymore” Akira endings.
• GAINAX – Meaning, Shikabane Hime: Aka. There is simple math here. Gainax plus zombies equals my one guarantee.

Dare I say, fuck yes? (from the manga)

Crossovers

Chaos;Head – This is apparently a game adaptation. It looks really cool though. Gore, horror, sci-fi? It fits nicely enough into “old-school vibe” for me to ignore the video game rule.

Gotta admit, thats one helluva name.

Hokuto no Ken Raoh Gaiden: Ten no Haoh – Seriously? Forget the sequel rule, this is the definition of old school. Fist of the motherfucking North Star. I have so been waiting to watch people punch heads until they explode. I even said motherfucking. It might end up being too many episodes and eventually I’ll think it’s crap, but.. exploding heads. Seriously.

Exceptions

Clannad – You got me. It’s a visual novel adaptation and it’s a sequel. I didn’t even like the first season that much, but I’m stuck. Plus, I’ll bet it’s finally weepy-weepy time for the Clannad crew, and isn’t that really where Kyoto shines in these Key adaptations? I’m sure I’ll be watching it, much like…

ef – What the fuck? I know! Another visual novel + sequel combo! Sue me. ef was awesome. It certainly wasn’t as deep as lots of people made it out to be, but that’s not the series’ fault. What it did do successfully was strike an emotional chord really genuinely, where most shows of its kind give you empty melodrama.

Corpse Princess, ef, North Star, and Chaos;Head, along with Xam’d and maybe some bonus Clannad (can we pleeeease do widescreen this time around?) would make a pretty good season lineup. What’s everyone else taking on?

Ha you assholes I beat you to it. I’m old, see, and that allows me to be judgmental. Actually, I’m not that old, but I’m prejudging anyway.

Best OP: The Tower of Druaga.

This was a hard one. Lots of great tunes and animation this time around. Kaiba’s ethereal opener with English lyrics shows you exactly what kind of beautiful and haunting 25 minutes are about to happen. To Love-Ru’s tantalizing but stylish OP turned out to be the best thing about the show every fucking week. Even the gay-ninja saga Nabari No Ou, which I don’t really care for, has a great song by a previously awful band (VELTPUNCH). But Druaga gives us clever credit placements, a jaunty ska-rock tune that turns dramatic toward the end, and most importantly, a question that we have to ask weekly: are we being faced with a an alternate reality situation in this series?

Best Music in general: Macross Frontier.

There is a two-part quiz to establish best anime music in a season.

1. Is there a Macross series?
2. Did Yoko Kanno do the music for any series?

If you can answer “yes” to either, you’re set (some of Macross 7’s butt-rock aside). We can answer “yes” to BOTH this season. Aren’t we fortunate bastards? Ranka’s “Aimo” is Yoko Kanno’s best tune since my favorite one, “Myung’s Theme (Voices)” from Macross Plus. But here’s the close runner-up, “Ninjin Loves You Yeah!”

Train Wreck of the Year: Geass R2.

I stopped blogging it, mostly because everyone else already was. But I still watch, usually open-mouthed. Time after time it leaves me in slack-jawed disbelief as the camera pans out to millions of Zeroes! Orange-kun comes back from the dead! LeDouche quotes Light Yagami! Tits flow from Sunrise’s pencils like a mighty Mississippi of mammaries! Underage heads of state with no tits at all convene, possibly panty-free, in a soundproof room in Zero’s giant truck with a fucking panda on the side being driven by CC and covered in fucking Cheese-kun window stickers! FUCK! Where does it end?? This quote from Derailed By Darry sums it up pretty well:

Code Geass R2 is genius on so many levels, just not on the classical “well-written” level.

Fantastic observation. I realized this week that there is nothing out there like it, and yes thank you jebus I’m grateful for that, but there is a bizarre brilliance in the over-the-top-ness.

By the way, mai waifu on Geass: “Oh, is it time for your stories?”

Biggest surprise: Tie! Daughter of 20 Faces and Kamen No Maid Guy.

20 Faces had potential from the get-go, being from Bones, but it was clear that early on their attention was focused mostly on Soul Eater. However, the series consistently played out so solidly that I find myself waiting for it more all week than any other. To top it off, the last episode was jam-packed with the kind of ballsy direction and stylish animation that are Bones hallmarks.

Maid Guy was a surprise simply because it turned out to not be shitty. Yes, the animation budget was probably fished out from between Madhouse’s couch cushions, but at least they don’t save money by having all the characters drink tea for 10 minutes per episode like some other Madhouse shows. Kogarashi is a previously-unseen mix of hilarious and frightening, and I will gladly watch every week to find out what crazy Maid Guy Power will be unveiled next.

Best First-Episode Experience: Soul Eater

Yes, it’s a shounen/action/talking-during-battles kind of show, but Bones aimed to prove early on that they could execute with style. I immediately re-watched the first episode because my head spun too fast to figure out what was going on the first time.

Voice actor of the season: Megumi Nakajima as Ranka Lee

Open auditions are apparently a very good idea. She out-acts most of the rest of the cast, and her tongue doesn’t sound nearly as thick as Sheryl’s on those Engrish song lyrics. Shin sums it up much more clever-style.

Best Shoujo: Toshokan Sensou

Dear Itazura Na Kiss, I still love you, and I think you embody your genre like nothing else. Unfortunately, a new character who is vulnerable and real but not quite so pathetic as the usual shoujo heroine has risen up, and she’s really tall! Plus, as a boy, I find all the guns to be exciting.

Dear Special A, Toshokan Sensou’s ensemble cast is far better than yours. Also, I never liked you.

The wiener

Drum roll…. OH SHIT Copping out. But unlike most people who don’t believe in superlatives (like me) I will pick the “best” show of the season. Just not until the end.

I’ll say this, though — it’ll probably start with a K, whatever it ends up being.

So, I’m getting rid of all my shit, trying to sell my house (turns out, at a loss… *cry*), and up sticks to another state. Not to mention organize a podcast. So post frequency is slowing down.

But for some reason, while good animated television goes unwatched (Chiko!), I watched a random episode of Kodomo No Jikan. This post was gonna be one sentence, but I couldn’t decide on one:

1. Why plunge yourself into the depths of such well-warranted controversy for something so stupid?
2. It’s intermittently more shocking than Kanokon, but unsurprisingly lacking in heart-shaped pasties.
3. Accuse the viewers of being perverts if you want, but no one’s gonna be turned on by such ugly animation.
4. If you act like a wet-blanket anime lead, even an 8-year-old will take advantage of your dumb ass.
5. I don’t remember any of my teachers being so stacked.

Story?

I fought hard for a caption. but I lost.

For those of you who don’t know the plot, it’s basically this: Your standard dumb-fuck anime noodle can’t see that his fellow teacher with giant cans is into him because he’s too much of a pussy to fight off an 8-year-old girl with daddy issues who is dead set on doing stuff that will get him arrested.

I read a bit of the manga, after all if there’s that much talk about something you have to investigate a little. For science.

Right?

Well, in this case, curiosity made the cat lose a couple brain cells.

Pedo-sensei’s report card

You cannot, CAN NOT pretend to be a deep and important symphony when the title of your overture was Ecchi in Pedo Major. Not because you’re not allowed, but because it doesn’t work. If I thought it did work, I’d write that there was some exquisite balancing act going on, but if the series wanted to tackle a serious issue with any profundity it wouldn’t focus on children’s panties so much.

You want me to get really into a show? Don’t give me such unbelievable situations, and don’t package it in an anime that I feel like I have to keep one eye on while the other looks over my shoulder. At least Kanokon knows what it is. And at least there is more than one pair of breasts in it. I really think there’s something else worth saying about this, but I don’t have the brainpower or time to write a dissertation.

Shame? Disgust? No... Suicidal Despair!

The things I do for you people. I’m gonna go watch Golgo 13 now.

If you can’t make a crazy generalization or inflammatory statement every once in a while, there’s not much point in blogging, now, is there?

Seriously though, bear with me. Yes, I realize all too well that Kanokon is happening this season, but I sometimes think Macross Frontier is the most brazenly fan-pandering anime show out there. Why?

1. So far, though it is a classic franchise series, it’s catering somewhat obviously to the trends of the day, including high school harems, moe, lolis, implications of yuri, you name it.
2. At the same time, it panders almost as shamelessly to classic Macross fans, with its near-infinite parallels to previous series. From Catherine Glass’s uncanny resemblance to Misa Hayase or the Macross-shaped high school, to the inclusion of “My Boyfriend is a Pilot” and the little easter eggs like a Minmay doll flying at Ozma’s head — the more references you can spot, the more enjoyment you get out of the series.

Fanservice is, as we all know, not necessarily about upskirts and 10% breast coverage, although Sheryl seems to have the latter under control. Protracted transformation scenes, techno-babble speak, obscure references, and missile spam are all the kinds of things that anime fans feed on, thus they’re fanservice. I think Gainax taught us that pretty well.

Overreaction?

This isn’t a new situation for the franchise. After all, every Macross series has had a captain who looks exactly like Bruno Global, and every series has had gratuitous references to Minmay. Hell, Macross 7’s characters even watched Do You Remember Love?

Something about Macross F is starting to rub me the wrong way, though — it’s starting to feel like it’s not as much about the story as it is about getting franchise fans to approve, or getting new fans to embrace the franchise. The past two episodes are perfect examples.

Episode seven sees a massive space fight juxtaposed against a Sheryl concert. That trick is old as the hills, though every time it’s done right, a Valkyrie gets its wings. If an old-school Macross fan didn’t enjoy episode seven, he should just turn in his card now.

Episode eight, however, revolves heavily around the kind of high school love comedy plot that I see enough of outside of my favorite franchise, and don’t really care to see in it. Every time Sheryl upstages Ranka, I feel the warm wave of moe and think, well that’s the intent, isn’t it? I don’t want to get into the Moe Problem (the poison that’s killing our plotlines) just yet, that’s for a different day.

Today there is plenty of time to rant instead on the fact that five minutes of what used to be my favorite twenty of the week was devoted to chasing after a cute green creature in possession of a main character’s panties. Dear lord, when does the Naked Misunderstanding happen? Is Sheryl going to show up naked in Alto’s bed? Oh, goodie, now that Sheryl’s in the school too, do we get a school festival episode?

I originally heard this was a 13-episode series, is that true? If so, I’m extra pissed to have the story dicking around and the production company so poorly mismanaging the budget, but it really seems like I have some false info there.

Just for balance

Here are the things I liked a lot about Episode 8:

1. Ranka in the carrot suit. Nuff said.
2. Ranka’s long path to stardom. Life was easy for Minmay: The SDF Macross population was small, everyone was going to die, and not that many people could sing. But Ranka has to do what Sheryl told her to do: work hard. Now she’s living that lesson.
3. Sheryl sticking around, dicking up Ranka’s life. As much as that brings the moe, and the emo (anagram! holy cow! who knew? probably everyone but me…), it’s the kind of conflict that needs to happen for real drama. Alto is not enough because he’s showed zero interest in Ranka and very little in Sheryl. Only her persistence has cracked his disinterested facade a little. But if Sheryl hurts Ranka’s budding career, it’s only going to amplify the Alto factor for our green friend.
4. Harmonica kid. I rarely think new characters are the answer, especially when some existing ones (Cathy, Leon, Ozma) are just starting to get development time. But this show could use a good shake.

So… Macross F… my midseason evaluation for you is getting shaky compared to that mind-boggling start, but as a famous cowboy once said, I can’t quit you.

I really didn’t care too much for this series at episode one, but after sticking it out through the somewhat unfortunate “little girl punching bag” arc, it’s starting to reward me with some great laughs. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you it’s the best thing out there, but you could do worse than to hang out with five people, two animals, and a robot.

1. OP/ED

With an opener so spastically animated, you could watch once a week all season and still not figure out what’s going on. And the EDs rotate every week. Apparently they’re even different per channel, so if you switched around in theory you could keep watching the same one, but why would you do that? Each one has a cast member singing, each fitting the character’s personality. As expected for those of you who do watch, Ginka’s has been the best so far. Which brings me to…

2. Ginka

I am so wary of gay characters in anime; Japan seems to have an issue with homophobia that eclipses their xenophobia even. So when I saw Ginka at the end of episode one, I sighed internally. But as it turns out, he’s become a great example of how humor springs from turning a stereotype on its head. Not a gay stereotype mind you, an anime stereotype. Ginka is so casually manly and heroic — seemingly fearless in fact —  and he’s got a very well-developed spider-sense. Simultaneously, he loses sleep about his pores.

3. Neko-san

I don’t mean catgirl Kyouka herself, she’s still a somewhat annoying character. But she’s been minimized a little by the huge cast and crazy situations. What I mean is, Chika calls her Neko-san, and I think it’s freaking hilarious for some reason.

4. Food

Every time food figures into the show, it’s been cooked by Kyouka, and while horrible food is an anime staple, I’ve never seen it actually cry out for the merciful release of death before.

5. Sheer Randomness.

is that a word? An entire plot revolves around a travel agent so good at her job that her sales chart wraps around the ceiling, and her rival curses her using voodoo learned from a correspondence course. As Ouka walks through his living room, Yuuka’s rolling around on Teika the Lion’s back praising how soft and comfy he is. When Kyouka jumps from desk to desk at the travel agent, there’s a retarded operatic sound effect. Low-budget virtual reality. Or cut to the travel agent chief: “Sparkle!” And that’s only this week. The whole thing goes at ninety miles a minute, and since there’s rarely any rhyme or reason there’s no need to try to anticipate what’s next.

Sooo… anyway, it’ll never be deep, and it’s pretty dumb when it tries to get serious, but Kyouran Kazoku Nikki is a welcome blast of pure spastic fun.

Hi all. I just wanted to share some bits of my concert scrapbook. Here are some reviews of notable concerts in the Macross universe. Love, otou-san.

and here’s a little audio treat for you.