Yesterday I mentioned one of the going theories about Bakemonogatari: that either in Nisoisin’s original story or in the mind of Wackiyuki Shinbo, protagonist Ararararararagi became a parody and an indictment of the spineless nice-guy semi-lolicon tendencies of the viewer. It’s potent stuff; after all, we love to be talked to directly, don’t we? And most movies, books, and anime would just as soon preach at you or humor your worst qualities, so it’s almost refreshing to be sneakily made fun of.

But Bakemonogatari isn’t the first time people have thought about this. IKnight, despite claiming to reach no definite conclusion, ruined pretty much anyone’s ability to write about Gundam 0080: War In The Pocket with his breakdown of the typical “war sucks” standard that most Gundam (supposedly) carries. But despite the excellent case he makes that it’s not always as simple as that, what little Gundam I’ve seen and enjoyed is at its best when it’s making that point. War does suck, especially in a world where even the basic movement of the military devices creates huge collateral damage. And while 0080’s Al might have managed to float through a lot of serious events without grasping the full weight of that, one moment stopped him cold, and probably did the same for you.

I’m talking of course about the harrowing scene after Bernie and Chris’s battle, in which Al finally realizes who’s inside that mean old Feddie mobile suit — and what she’s done to his friend. Al’s temporary catatonia paired nicely with my own shock at the brutality of execution of that scene. It was coming since the moment Chris first entered the Gundam, but I just didn’t expect it to be so intense when it happened.

You can say what you want about war-machine fanatics making the Gundam “war sucks” experience a big ourobouros of irony, and you’d be right. But in moments like this, it’s still the king of hammering home its grim message.

At least, that’s what happened in the animated world.

In the third dimension, something somewhat less earth-shattering happened: I was born.

Fast forward thirty years. Gundam celebrates its anniversary with a new series announcement, international Tomino appearances, and of course a giant life-size Gundam in Tokyo, while my birthday goes by without so much as an whining post.

I have, however, set out to celebrate my thirtieth year in a truly Gundam-tastic way by finally starting my journey into the grandaddy real robot franchise. I am beginning, appropriately, with the 0079 movies.

Fifty episodes for the series is a bit of a stretch for me these days, and besides — mechafetish and ghostlightning pointed me to the movies with their helpful Gateway Gundam Chooser®.

I’m partially through the second movie, but rather than keep waiting to post, I thought I’d get out my impressions of the first.

War Sucks

The big thing that sticks out in my mind is the grim, unending portrait of war: Even in the spacefaring future, war is a bleak proposition that kills families, keeps you from sleep, and conscripts unwilling civilians by virtue of the the simple fact that everyone else is fucking dead.

Kawamori, as big a hippie as he is, has always been just goofy enough in Macross’s execution that he couldn’t dream of getting his anti-war message across as effectively as Tomino (I’m thinking of Super Dimension Fortress’s portrait of the scorched earth and Macross Zero’s valkyrie attack on Mayan island). Then again, that’s likely the intent — it’s understandable that he’d want to make something of an antidote to Gundam’s incessant darkness.

The power behind Gundam’s “war is hell” message is in how it tests of your endurance. Like Amuro, you’re never given a break from White Base’s endless assault. It is a tiring, interminable thing. That’s not to say it’s repetitious, like a monster-of-the-week thing. The monotony of the fight actually adds to the intensity of viewing.

Sound effects (of war sucking)

Have you ever paid attention to the sound effects in Gundam?

The grinding and creaking of metal on metal, the clink of spent shells falling to the ground, the endless sounds of gunfire and cannon explosions: this too contributes to the grimness of the viewer’s insertion into the middle of a war. Sound effects are an aspect of anime that’s often pushed aside in favor of the more “glamorous” parts of audio, like voice acting or background score. But here, the reality of the sounds (exact opposite would be Macross 7’s awful sound effects which were obviously created on a single synthesizer by a drunken panda, or any anime that uses energy weapons instead of rattling bullets) immerses you further, and helps put the “real” in “real robot.”

Sophistication (with caveats)

Those are only two of Gundam’s traits that, along with superior script, animation, and acting, lead to its status as a truly sophisticated anime. Take a step back: what does sci-fi anime mean pre-Gundam? It means super robots and Leiji Matusumoto. I love both of these, but at their heart they are simple boyish fantasies of running around with pirates or giant robots and saving the world. Sunrise’s animation (which still tends to rise above most others) brings Tomino’s story to life in a way that Yamato and Harlock couldn’t have dreamed of, and when you plop the hard-ass script in there, you have a new generation of animation.

That said, it still feels transitional in a lot of ways, and the biggest is Char. The Red Comet, brilliant as he is in his Don Johnson leisure suit and shades, is basically a super villain, and as a result he undermines the “realities of war” aspect. He’s less one-dimensional than say, Dr. Hell or the Burning Legion of Matsumoto’s Misogyny, but he remains a single Cobra Commander-like target when a more appropriate message would be that there is no head to the beast you fight in a war.

Scope of influence

Well, duh. I knew. To say Gundam is influential is probably the understatement of thirty years. But to really see it in action — the real robots, the unwilling mecha pilot, the works — is to know where the things you love came from.

SLAP

I don’t think there’s much I need to say about Gundam’s face-slap fetish, either. It’s not just the legendary Brightslap. It starts with Amuro backhanding Fraw Bow and doesn’t stop until war suddenly becomes pleasant.

Here’s a further visual aid (courtesy ghostlightning).

Moving on

Complaints aside, the first movie was a riveting watch, and I’ve been more than pleased that I don’t have to watch it as a “well, that’s cool for its time” academic exercise. It’s well-animated (not exactly Do You Remember Love?, but what is?) and sufficiently exciting to watch on its own merits nowadays. I’m stoked to continue on with these movies, and from there, who knows?

Basquash!

Pre-airing thoughts: I don’t like sports. Never have. To me the fact that I was always a scrawny dork who was never any good at them was the reason I ended up an anime fan to begin with. Eyeshield, Slam Dunk, Hajime No Ippo, none of these ever really held any interest for me (although I know Riex and Choujin shake their heads when I say that about Ippo). But Basquash! has something they don’t: Shoji Kawamori. Does that mean the basketball players all sing? Probably not, but they do ride mecha, so we’re halfway to something.

duckies

First episode thoughts: Wow. Kawamori or no, this was cool. Mr. Macross’s studio of choice for the past couple installments, Satelight, may have even upped the ante from their impressive start of Macross Frontier. The look actually reminds me of Manglobe’s sweaty, sunny setting of Michiko & Hatchin, but of course with a stylishly futuristic wardrobe department. Dan seems to be a decent Black Star-esque protagonist with a good seiyuu and a “[insert thing] Mask” alter ego. Then of course, there’s lots of really well done CG of the “bigfoot” mecha whose cockpits are all 50s hot-rod-looking cars. I guess that’s the rock and roll angle of Kawamori’s designs. All in all, a fun ride of an opening with lots of great action and sufficient boobs to hold visual interest. Everything moved so fast, it was actually hard to get a screencap.

Careful! Lest these things Gainax all over the cockpit

What will go wrong: Kawamori isn’t the story or script writer, although the whole idea and design is his. So he can’t blow the ending by forgetting to think one up until he’s writing the last episode. Satelight can, however, do what they must have done with Frontier. That is, they could animate the 5 most important episodes first and fill in the rest with whatever tiny amount of cash they haven’t blown. For every hyper-impressive visual tour de force like this one, let’s hope there aren’t three all-out shitfests to follow.

Eden of the East

Pre-airing thoughts: I can’t say as I had any. I didn’t know anything about this series other than it’d be animated by Production IG, and would have music by Kenji Kawai and… Oasis.

First episode thoughts: From the looks of it, Eden of the East is going to shape up to be a bit of a shoujo romance with a twist of intrigue, much like last year’s Library War. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that that series lacked in both Libraries and War, but the romantic aspect was really not too badly done. So far, my ability to believe everything in episode 1 was strongly tested, but I am always ready to put that aside in the name of setup as long as it doesn’t go too far. After all, the premise of armed librarians was pretty fucking hard to swallow too, but it turned out that didn’t matter.

George Washington's Phallus looms ominously over our Japanese protagonist. Coincidence? Or symbolism?

In the end, it barely mattered what I didn’t believe because the execution was staggering. Facial expressions and body language effortlessly pulled off without all that Lucky Star/A-1 pictures simplification of design. CG integrated near-seamlessly into the slick cel work, and the traced photo backgrounds didn’t put me off at all (except for the fact that I have to go to Dulles airport next week). The Oasis OP was marvelous — even though I’m not a fan, the slick Western rock added a level of polish that really helped the full experience — and the cut-paper stop-motion ending sequence even better. OH! Also, they hired English-speaking voice actors to do the American parts. Nice touch.

What will go wrong: There won’t be enough Eden, or East. Saki, who looks a little like Itazura Na Kiss’s Kotoko, will turn out to be just as pathetic. And strangers will give up their hard-earned pants without question when I flash my balls at them.

Saki

Pre-airing thoughts: There is a series on Crunchyroll. I pay for Crunchyroll. Maybe I should watch it.

This is right, isn't it?

First episode thoughts: Gonzo? Well, they can make it work when it counts, but they seem stretched pretty thin this season. Possible Yuri? OK, I’m listening. Loudmouthed fanged loli eating tacos? I dunno, I’m losing interest. Mah Jong? Whoops. Gone.

Screencap not available. Artist's rendition of Saki.

Also, already watching one show with a lead character named Saki.

What will go wrong: I will actually watch this. That would be a problem. I have better things to do. Like go to the taco truck down the street. It kind of pains me to think of what a taco would taste like in Japan, which is why no matter how large a weaboo I become in some parallel world, I will still never go there for any extended period of time.

For now, that is pretty much all. I watched it with beer in hand — and I may have imagined this, but — I think my TV thanked me afterward. Then I had a steak dinner. Then I almost streaked naked through my apartment complex shouting about how Geass is over, it’s over, possibly with my hair on fire, but I realized that no one here has a goddam clue what a Geass is.

I’ll save most of my thoughts for one of the internet’s thousand billion review posts, but let me just say this: It ended much more respectably than I would have imagined, and I really don’t think the much-beloved Goro Taniguchi should quit anime forever.

Ding, dong, the pizza witch is dead! Figuratively speaking, of course, No spoilers.

Saturday night those of you who are US-based and aren’t too awesome for dubbed cartoons on TV might have noticed that Cartoon Network is airing Code Geass season 1 after the still-trucking Death Note. Personally I really like Adult Swim and I love the fact that they show some of this stuff. They’ve shown some greats in the past: Trigun, Eureka Seven, Cowboy Bebop, Wolf’s Rain, even Satoshi Kon’s Paranoia Agent. Now, follow that with Code Geass. But it got me thinking, and that’s never good.

Why do dubs suck?

I don’t want to get into the dub-vs-sub war, but if I rant on my blog I can at least have a one-way conversation that’s more intelligent than trying to talk about it on 4chan or something OMG DUB SUX. But what makes dubs so hated? Is it the over-localization? Or perhaps Funimation-style “repurposing” the likes of which turn Shin-Chan into an (admittedly hilarious) adult cartoon? Yes, very literal fansubs let you infer based on your pitiful knowledge of moonspeak what might actually be going on, whereas localization forces its interpretation on you. But that doesn’t bother me much. I guess I always knew my own answer, but seeing the dub of Geass, formerly starring Jun Fukuyama, it drove it home: There are five fucking people in this business.

Starring: Crispin Yong Vignogna

Hi! I am tired of hearing your voice!

While watching Spice and Wolf, it’s hard not to wait for Lawrence to make some fruity pose and Mikuru Stare someone into buying his 18,000 suits of armor. Likewise for at least 27 other characters this season. But watching American dubs, that effect is multiplied by a thousandfold.

It would make a great office pool game to bet on how many seconds it takes in the first episode of any show before Crispin Freeman shows up. Saturday night was my first ever viewing of the dub, so I instantly thought two things: One, why wasn’t it Karen instead of Kallen? Two, Johnny Yong Bosch? Fucking really? Wait, three things: BADASS MOTHER.

A matter of octave

But really, as much as you do hear Jun Fukuyama, and as much as his only vocal mannerism seems to be “rampant egotism,” how exactly do you match up his voice with Johnny Yong Bosch? Fabulous Itsuki? (actually, I did like his Itsuki dub, and his Vash role was one of the best, but that just proves my overuse point further…) Either way, it reminds me of how in Evangelion, Shinji was voiced by a girl and her voice was still lower than Spike Spencer’s.

Lots of people tell me when I meet them that I should go into radio. That is a compliment that makes anyone feel more like a man, and sure, I need all the help I can get there — but what I’d really like to break into is anime dubbing. How would I go about this? Not sure. Not interested in going back to school to learn acting, or moving to California, or any of that.

Maybe if I walked into a convention, slapped Dick Cox with a glove and shouted “I demand satisfaction!” in front of his entire legion of blobby fangirls, some ancient rule of duelling would allow me to usurp him. As long as it did something to minimize guys who sound like puberty laughed and sped by them on a moped. I know they’re hard workers, and talented and whatnot, but Crispin Freeman is the only person in dubbing who doesn’t make my ears bleed, and you can’t use him for everything — or can you? I think that was my point.

What the hell happened to this post?

Well, that went long. So, let’s do a one-sentence summary of the show this post was supposedly about — Lelouch convinces Rollo not to kill him by saying he’ll bring C.C. to him, but instead manages to trick him into joining the Black Knights with a little faux love, while simultaneously saving the would-be-executees like Ohgi and Toudou by sliding all the Brits bodily into Chinese Federation territory where they can’t shoot without starting a war.

Also, Pizza Hut sightings: ONE.

Everyone is blogging Geass R2 this season. I was going to just count the Pizza Hut references, but instead I want to pose a few questions.

1. Are they giving out Geass in action claw machines, or as some bloggers have postulated, free with Pizza Hut orders of over $20?

2. When does the bunny suit portion of the show end? Isn’t that kind of stuff supposed to come later in a show when interest is waning? I mean, we already have the, uh, nontraditional Knightmare frame. Give the poor girl a hint of dignity for fuck’s sake — she’s a revolutionary, not a member of Prince and the Revolution!

3. More to the point, does this screencap look ironic to you?

4. Why is everyone hating on Suzaku so bad? He’s frustrating, perhaps retarded, as a person, but as a character I’d call him ok, I mean you gots to have the arch-enemy. I am a little disappointed the Ultimate Face-off between him and Lulu didn’t really happen, but whatevs.

5. Doesn’t Zero remind you of anyone right now?

Perhaps:

Another disturbing thing I just caught: the opening animation of the map shows the center of the Brittanian Empire as being the Americas? What? I know I’m obviously late to this party, and I will allow Japan their customary xenophobia, but at least get your whiteys straight, people. The year 1776 ring a bell? We hate those guys! Well, not really, but you know what I’m saying.

Tune in next week to see whose cuisine will reign supreme! (Hint: probably involves cheese, crust, and tomatoes)

While I’m not pooping my pants, aka Macross Excitement Level over this, I’m glad to see Pretty Boy LeDouche come back to attempt to liberate helpless Japan from the wrath of the honkies in the name of siscon once again.

Story

Lelouch is still in school in the Tokyo settlement, but things seem a little off. He has a younger brother Rollo, his gym teacher looks a lot like Villetta (and her name’s… Villetta?), and he doesn’t seem to have a Geass Eye anymore. Plus, he’s back to gambling on chess games.

Most of the Black Knights are in prison, including Colonel Toudou. The remaining ones have fallen under the temporary lead of C.C., who makes it her mission to recover Lelouch. Her scheme to lure him into a chess game and have undercover bunny girl (yar?) Kallen grab him doesn’t go quite as planned, but in the end it’s a successful recovery after a good bit of chase stuff.

With a bit of a smooch, C.C. restores Lelouch’s memory, and it’s bye bye Brittanian soldiers.

It seems that the Emperor/King himself has now employed Suzaku, and possibly V.V. is on his side as well, so I’m guessing this season will be a little more of a personal fight staged over the backdrop of the revolution.

Thoughts

This episode very cleverly paralleled Geass’s first one, with the re-awakening of Lelouch’s powers happening in a similar scene to the initial bestowing of them. But Zero’s introduction, complete with gothy poses and Mikuru Stare, was played for far more of a Fuck Yeah Factor than anything previously in Geass.

We still didn’t get a real answer to the cliffhanger of the first series. It seems that Suzaku and Lelouch did indeed come to a truce in order to rescue Nunally, but what happened after is anyone’s guess. How would they be a match for V.V.? Lelouch already used the Geass on himself, so how was his past wiped so effectively? Perhaps C.C. did it to hide him. And speaking of all that, where is Nunally?

Overall, the animation quality is still up to par, not to mention HD now — say what you will about Sunrise (aka Studio Gundam) but they have the cash to keep things consistent. I think Geass is one of the more stylish things they’ve ever done, in spite of the somewhat Gundam-esque mechs. Scoring is still epic and dark, theme songs (both by Orange Range of Bleach fame) still unimpressive. I think the only one I really liked was the first ED by Ali Project, and even then, you heard one of their songs and you’ve heard ‘em all.

But let’s hope they keep track of what made Geass so cool to begin with: It’s an action-packed robot fight, a dramatic collection of emotional cruelties and deadly secrets, all wrapped in a Death Note-style rumination on what happens to people when they gain unspeakable power. Oh — and a Pizza Hut commercial.