Golgo 13 Episode 4
Just as planned
Yeah, you know what? I need to edit my sidebar, because I’m about done with Geass. Not watching, it’s become enough of a train wreck that it’s more entertaining than ever, with more twists than M. Night Shamalyan in an Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shop. It’s just that there are almost as many people blogging it as there are subbing it, and I can’t think of anything more interesting to say than for instance, Derailed By Darry. So LeDouche’s spot is now occupied by a grab bag of whatever the fuck I feel like, especially under-appreciated shows that other people aren’t blogging much. I aim to cover Real Drive, Daughter of Twenty Faces, and Golgo 13, among others.
Did you not catch the guy at the end of every Next Episode preview?
Plot? Killing people, what the hell else?
Linda is a real life Pretty Woman, a former prostitute who’s now the young trophy wife of a Manhattan mafia boss. She’s supposed to be pretty I guess, but no one’s really pretty in this show, which seems to be filtered through the jaded eyes of Duke Togo himself. She’s not exactly happy with her status, though.
The image of Duke frolicking through Florida with Mickey Mouse haunts my nightmares now
Linda wants to break free from her marital bonds, so she hires Duke to kill her husband, Boss Marty. After a whole lot of doublecrossing, she gets her way — but when she tries to grab Duke for herself, she finds out the hard way that he does not give a shit about… well, anything, really.
What We’ve Learned
Duke will kill a bitch. Straight up, faster than he’ll bone her, even. But ladies, they want the Duke. Linda can’t even look at him without a noir-sex fantasy leaping to her brain accompanied by embarrassing moans that make your wife wonder just what kind of TV show you’re watching in there.
Series synopsis theatre, episode 1
There are people who are better at some things than Duke. Like mafia man Billy, who manages to get the draw on our non-hero with his ultra-fast hands. But is Golgo 13 gonna let a man with those kinds of skeelz live? Hell no. He’ll find a way to make sure his draw hand is tied before shooting. And that will cause said man to explain exactly how he was defeated by the Duke, using his final breath.
The lesson here is, of course, don’t be better than Golgo 13 at anything. Ever.
They all look the same to us roundeyes, anyways
There is nothing on TV more ridiculous than Golgo 13. It’s so noir, it makes NYPD Blue look like Sesame Street, and Sam Spade wet his pants just at the sight of Duke. But that over-the-top aspect is what makes it so fun. And it may be silly, but it’s hard for me to deny the appeal of the fact that there is at least one show on the air with its sniper sights aimed squarely at the seinen demographic, with absolutely no concessions to moe or anything else in the trends. You might even see some junk if you’re not careful.
Series synopsis theatre, episode 2
Golgo 13 is a faithful re-enactment that could exist in any of the five decades that the manga has been around. And besides, what show in your current anime lineup isn’t ridiculous in some way?
So what is it about Lynn Minmay? Upon seeing her for the first time, it seems unlikely that this small girl of Chinese descent could possibly have stopped the massive Zentradi fleet and caused the destruction of the Earth as we know it. She’s cute, sure. And judging from the photos, her skirts get shorter with every appearance. But she’s just a young girl.
After a lovely dinner at Nyan Nyan, my girlfriend and I took a cab over to Super Dimension Stadium. I was prepared, pen in hand, to note the most egregious offenses to pour into a harsh review. Not to be the case.
Watching Kyouka on TV kind of makes me wonder if this is what Kyon and the SOS Brigade felt like. I love how she calls the audience “pigs.” Why does Yuuko have to be such a punching bag, though? I thought this was a comedy. My overall impression is still kind of ho-hum — such a random premise has to do some weird shit just to hold up week after week, and I’m not sure dramatic elements are right — but there’s a lot worse out there. Plus, Ginka’s managed to be gay and GAR at the same time.
Still being straight-up awesome. This week’s episode was light-hearted characterization, but the writing is so smart, there’s no way you could call it filler. Why do I like Kurenai so much? Because unlike any other male anime lead, Shinkurou seems like someone I might actually let babysit my kid. Certainly the only one with a bony weapon growing out of his arm. But what bothers me is, with Yayoi following them all the time, isn’t Benika effectively paying for two bodyguards? Animation continues to be good, though some character designs still put me off in a weird way.
What a blast. Aside from a totally ridiculous premise — basically an amped-up version of Fahrenheit 451 in which books are highly regulated but libraries are self-governed paramilitary organizations — this is a great series with a twist: it’s one part action and one part shoujo, which gives it a unique feel. Rarely outside of a true girls’ series is there such a winning female lead. And Production IG’s digitally-assisted animation tops their work on Blood+.
I don’t know why I’m still doing it, perhaps I like Jun Fukuyama more than I let on. I have now taken to watching the OP and ED because the singing is so incredibly awful. Rubbernecking at a train wreck, as it were.
This week’s episode was boooooring. Blah blah blah guns, blah blah M-16, blah blah let’s try to kill Golgo 13. News flash, dumbass: HE CAN’T BE KILLED. Get back to Duke fucking a prostitute and assassinating someone, already. Still the GARest thing that will ever be on TV.
There’s a YouTube hack that lets you save any vid with a high-quality version into an mp4 on your computer, which is nice because I can watch it on my iPhone. I might be squandering Gonzo’s good will, but I call Fair Use, bitches. Especially when the iPhone/Touch’s actual YouTube app allows access to about jack shit percent of the videos on YouTube as a whole. Getting away from all that, this show has amped up its charm over 5 episodes, and when combined with free legitimate release and an amazing OP, it makes a series you really should be watching.
This. Kaiba. This is why I wanted to write an “other shows” post to begin with. Sometimes we need to be reminded, with all the clichés and harems we both enjoy and deride in equal measure, why we started watching anime. Kaiba is why. Haters, stop bitching about vapid shows like Kanokon and To Love-Ru and start putting an antidote in front of your eyes. Lightly “H” series with tons of panties and a grade-schooler’s perception of sex are not “adult” — they share only ink and acetate in common with this very adult show. In the space of three episodes, it’s managed to be imaginative, fascinating, sexy, unsettling, and even heartbreaking. All with a design that looks deceptively like a kid’s show.
