action.

Golgo 13 Episode 4

Just as planned

Yeah, you know what? I need to edit my sidebar, because I’m about done with Geass. Not watching, it’s become enough of a train wreck that it’s more entertaining than ever, with more twists than M. Night Shamalyan in an Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shop. It’s just that there are almost as many people blogging it as there are subbing it, and I can’t think of anything more interesting to say than for instance, Derailed By Darry. So LeDouche’s spot is now occupied by a grab bag of whatever the fuck I feel like, especially under-appreciated shows that other people aren’t blogging much. I aim to cover Real Drive, Daughter of Twenty Faces, and Golgo 13, among others.

Did you not catch the guy at the end of every Next Episode preview?
Did you not catch the guy at the end of every Next Episode preview?

Plot? Killing people, what the hell else?

Linda is a real life Pretty Woman, a former prostitute who’s now the young trophy wife of a Manhattan mafia boss. She’s supposed to be pretty I guess, but no one’s really pretty in this show, which seems to be filtered through the jaded eyes of Duke Togo himself. She’s not exactly happy with her status, though.

The image of Duke frolicking through Florida with Mickey Mouse haunts my nightmares now
The image of Duke frolicking through Florida with Mickey Mouse haunts my nightmares now

Linda wants to break free from her marital bonds, so she hires Duke to kill her husband, Boss Marty. After a whole lot of doublecrossing, she gets her way — but when she tries to grab Duke for herself, she finds out the hard way that he does not give a shit about… well, anything, really.

What We’ve Learned

Duke will kill a bitch. Straight up, faster than he’ll bone her, even. But ladies, they want the Duke. Linda can’t even look at him without a noir-sex fantasy leaping to her brain accompanied by embarrassing moans that make your wife wonder just what kind of TV show you’re watching in there.

Series synopsis theatre, episode 1
Series synopsis theatre, episode 1

There are people who are better at some things than Duke. Like mafia man Billy, who manages to get the draw on our non-hero with his ultra-fast hands. But is Golgo 13 gonna let a man with those kinds of skeelz live? Hell no. He’ll find a way to make sure his draw hand is tied before shooting. And that will cause said man to explain exactly how he was defeated by the Duke, using his final breath.

The lesson here is, of course, don’t be better than Golgo 13 at anything. Ever.

They all look the same to us roundeyes, anyways
They all look the same to us roundeyes, anyways

There is nothing on TV more ridiculous than Golgo 13. It’s so noir, it makes NYPD Blue look like Sesame Street, and Sam Spade wet his pants just at the sight of Duke. But that over-the-top aspect is what makes it so fun. And it may be silly, but it’s hard for me to deny the appeal of the fact that there is at least one show on the air with its sniper sights aimed squarely at the seinen demographic, with absolutely no concessions to moe or anything else in the trends. You might even see some junk if you’re not careful.

Series synopsis theatre, episode 2
Series synopsis theatre, episode 2

Golgo 13 is a faithful re-enactment that could exist in any of the five decades that the manga has been around. And besides, what show in your current anime lineup isn’t ridiculous in some way?

Macross Frontier Episode 6

How far we’ve come

Hi all. I just wanted to share some bits of my concert scrapbook. Here are some reviews of notable concerts in the Macross universe. Love, otou-san.

Lynn Minmay at the Ruins of the State Theatre, July 27, 2010

Last night I had the privilege of seeing the world’s first Miss Macross, Idol (literally) to the stars, at her debut Super Dimension Wreckage of Detroit performance. I’d have to say, rare is the occasion that I’ll go see a concert on my own dime, but even if the paper wasn’t paying me, I’d be all about it.

So what is it about Lynn Minmay? Upon seeing her for the first time, it seems unlikely that this small girl of Chinese descent could possibly have stopped the massive Zentradi fleet and caused the destruction of the Earth as we know it. She’s cute, sure. And judging from the photos, her skirts get shorter with every appearance. But she’s just a young girl.

However, when Minmay took the stage, the strings started to soar; and as she bounced adorably along to her signature hit, “My Boyfriend is a Pilot,” I understood. It’s an intangible quality. There’s something in the smile, something in her body, but most importantly, something in that voice.

Unfortunately, the production values of her concert didn’t really match up with the skill and passion of her performance. It was all very high school gymnasium. I suppose I can understand — the earth is in ruins, and after all this isn’t really very far into the future now is it? But when I think back to Madonna’s pop spectacles of the 90s, I have to wonder if we haven’t taken a couple steps backward.

Sharon Apple at the old SDF Macross, March 17, 2040

A concert review seems insufficient for what’s happened to me over the past week. The fact that I’ve mustered enough strength to pick up a pen is amazing; then again I suppose it’s lighter than the bottles of booze and pills that I’ve been lifting lately.

It all started last Saturday, when two tickets to the Sharon Apple performance hit my digital mailbox in the morning. I was skeptical — The hype machine for Sharon is in full effect all the time, it seems, with the holographic billboards taking up 80% of my vision on the morning’s work commute. And after all, if that many people like something, it must be catering to the lowest common denominator, right?

After a lovely dinner at Nyan Nyan, my girlfriend and I took a cab over to Super Dimension Stadium. I was prepared, pen in hand, to note the most egregious offenses to pour into a harsh review. Not to be the case.
The first thing you notice is the production values. The music is almost secondary in the beginning, as the holographic dino-birds and soaring angels surround not just the open stadium, but very nearly the entire city. When Sharon first appears, she’s at least 7 stories tall — and 7 times more beautiful than any singer you’ve ever seen. Before you really realize it, she’s shrunken herself like a Zentradi miclone, and performing solely for you. At one point during a particularly sexful moment, I managed to tear my gaze away and glance at my girlfriend. She’s never exhibited any bisexual tendencies, but her face was enraptured. That in itself was amazing, but the bad news was that following the performance, she no longer looked very pretty.

That turned out to be only the beginning. Food has lost its taste, I find it increasingly hard to get drunk on vodka or stoned on these pills… and sex? Well, it hardly compares to a kiss and a stroke of the cheek from Sharon Apple, now, does it?

This, I assume, will be my last review for the magazine, as they’ve already fired me. It’s more a goodness of my heart type thing. It may be one of my last acts at all. The only thing I have left to try that may come close to the experience of Sharon is the sweet embrace of death.

Sheryl Nome at Macross Frontier Stadium, May 8, 2059

Amidst the fearful speculation running wild through Super Dimension Faux San Francisco, one message of hope — or at least entertainment — remains. Galactic Idol Sheryl Nome has refused to cancel her Frontier farewell concert. In fact, if there’s anything good to come of our imminent demise at the hands of the frightening Vajra, it’s that Sheryl is probably stuck here for the remainder of our short existence.

I was lucky enough to see her first Frontier show, and true to form, Sheryl didn’t disappoint. Ex-Gear stunt pilots trailing colored smoke, a fabulous light show, and clothing that managed to be sexier than a hologram malfunction — all of these supplemented her second-to-none stage presence. And when that stunt pilot carried her around the stadium, well that was pure magic.

Clearly, Sheryl is of the school of thought that once you’ve sold a customer once, there’s no need to bring them back. She must be laughing as she rolls around in the cash that her fans ponyed up for this embarrassment of a performance.

Sheryl performed one song (pity the young Sheryl fan running through Frontier‘s streets who might be late to that show!), her recent smash ballad “Long Long Goodbye,” dressed as some kind of forest-pagan Stevie Nicks type. A single visual effect – some silly rising bubbles or reverse snow – punctuated the show. Sheryl’s heartfelt singing aside, the performance was lackluster, and the animation was just plain terrible. She even appeared to be missing an earring! That’s just lazy.

In the end, I hope Sheryl didn’t squander all the good will she generated on the nightly news with her motivational speech. And let’s hope the production values ramp up in the second half of this series. When I think back to the Minmay performances of the early century, I have to wonder if we haven’t taken a couple steps backward.

and here’s a little audio treat for you.

What else is on?

Revisited

As Geass wraps plot twist after plot twist around their poncy little pastry (or is it, more likely, a calzone?) and stuff it with a filling of cheesy fanservice, there is other really good stuff on right now as well, stuff that gets me going like a cellphone in a young kabuki maiden’s pocket.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki

Watching Kyouka on TV kind of makes me wonder if this is what Kyon and the SOS Brigade felt like. I love how she calls the audience “pigs.” Why does Yuuko have to be such a punching bag, though? I thought this was a comedy. My overall impression is still kind of ho-hum — such a random premise has to do some weird shit just to hold up week after week, and I’m not sure dramatic elements are right — but there’s a lot worse out there. Plus, Ginka’s managed to be gay and GAR at the same time.

Kurenai

Still being straight-up awesome. This week’s episode was light-hearted characterization, but the writing is so smart, there’s no way you could call it filler. Why do I like Kurenai so much? Because unlike any other male anime lead, Shinkurou seems like someone I might actually let babysit my kid. Certainly the only one with a bony weapon growing out of his arm. But what bothers me is, with Yayoi following them all the time, isn’t Benika effectively paying for two bodyguards? Animation continues to be good, though some character designs still put me off in a weird way.

Toshokan Sensou

What a blast. Aside from a totally ridiculous premise — basically an amped-up version of Fahrenheit 451 in which books are highly regulated but libraries are self-governed paramilitary organizations — this is a great series with a twist: it’s one part action and one part shoujo, which gives it a unique feel. Rarely outside of a true girls’ series is there such a winning female lead. And Production IG’s digitally-assisted animation tops their work on Blood+.

Special A

I don’t know why I’m still doing it, perhaps I like Jun Fukuyama more than I let on. I have now taken to watching the OP and ED because the singing is so incredibly awful. Rubbernecking at a train wreck, as it were.

Golgo 13

This week’s episode was boooooring. Blah blah blah guns, blah blah M-16, blah blah let’s try to kill Golgo 13. News flash, dumbass: HE CAN’T BE KILLED. Get back to Duke fucking a prostitute and assassinating someone, already. Still the GARest thing that will ever be on TV.

The Tower of Druaga

There’s a YouTube hack that lets you save any vid with a high-quality version into an mp4 on your computer, which is nice because I can watch it on my iPhone. I might be squandering Gonzo’s good will, but I call Fair Use, bitches. Especially when the iPhone/Touch’s actual YouTube app allows access to about jack shit percent of the videos on YouTube as a whole. Getting away from all that, this show has amped up its charm over 5 episodes, and when combined with free legitimate release and an amazing OP, it makes a series you really should be watching.

Kaiba

This.

This. Kaiba. This is why I wanted to write an “other shows” post to begin with. Sometimes we need to be reminded, with all the clichés and harems we both enjoy and deride in equal measure, why we started watching anime. Kaiba is why. Haters, stop bitching about vapid shows like Kanokon and To Love-Ru and start putting an antidote in front of your eyes. Lightly “H” series with tons of panties and a grade-schooler’s perception of sex are not “adult” — they share only ink and acetate in common with this very adult show. In the space of three episodes, it’s managed to be imaginative, fascinating, sexy, unsettling, and even heartbreaking. All with a design that looks deceptively like a kid’s show.

A lot’s been made of the animation, to me it’s a strong suit. Madhouse is usually very straightforward in style, but they manage to get crazy when it counts, for instance Satoshi Kon’s stuff. Here, they’re doing absolutely amazing things. Just watch the OP, you’ll see they mean business.