Shameful Otaku Secret!

It may surprise you to learn that Japan is, in fact, full of Japanese people. That makes for a largely homogenous society that is not incredibly interesting in terms of animation appeal. A bunch of folks with dark straight hair and pale-to-olive skin… science fiction affords more options, as does symbolic hair color and the occasional foreigner. But there’s also a particular breed of character, perhaps it’s fangirl-bait above else but it’s an undeniable archetype: The Blonde Badass. He’s tough, he’s tall, he’s soft-spoken. He might be a gaijin, he might be a bleached delinquent, but he might just be so mysteriously amazing that his hair just grew that way.

Wizard Howl of Howl’s Moving Castle was so distressed and depressed when he lost the blonde color of his hair that he almost gave up living. Is it that bad? Well, here are some of the archetypes he could have played to, had he kept his gloriously flaxen mane.

The delinquent badass. Take, for instance, Shizuo (Durararararararara!!1!). He’s got a Japanese name, and he resides in a supernatural but mostly realistic-ish world, so chances are he’s dyed. And that’d make sense, as he’s not one to conform to norms of society like “You shouldn’t throw vending machines in densely populated urban areas.”

Too cool for school. November 11 is so cool, he doesn’t even need clothes. If blonde characters are there to be visual man-meat, then a nude one probably fits the bill perfectly, no?

I’d follow him anywhere. How many tall blonde guys are the leader or senpai? That probably fits more than most. You’ve got Allen Schezar, who everyone seems to think is amazing and who spreads his seed farther than the average impotent anime doormat. Then there’s Guilty Crown‘s Gai Tsutsugami, the character everyone seems to wish the anime was about. And of course, the ultimate senpai, the guy you want to be, the pineapple king, Roy Fokker. Skull Leader. Has there ever been anyone cooler? (Maybe Coach…)

The brat. While these might be admirable characters, sometimes something about being blonde seems to evoke a brattiness or privileged nature that a character must either live with (if it’s a side character a la Utena‘s Nanami) or outgrow by gaining the respect of others. Edward Elric had to do that in the typical shounen-manga way, and Reinhard Von Lohengramm was often called a brat despite proving himself worthy, you know, numerous times.

The villain. Even in anime that don’t take place in Japan, the villain character will often play off that “otherness” of blonde hair to evoke a scarier feeling. I mean, look at Gai, he’s the hero and he’s still pretty intimidating. Of course I’m thinking of Monster‘s Johan Liebert here, one of the world’s scariest Aryans. While he was truly disturbed, he was much more calm and sociopathic than the typically unhinged blonde villain — say Guilty Crown‘s Kill ‘Em All Daryl (who falls into ”brat” with no problem either, just don’t forget the guy’s birthday) or Full Metal Panic: TSR‘s kitten-fapping Gates.

Honorary badass who could’ve been blonde: Straight Cougar.

Honorary senpai who isn’t quite a dude: Marjorie Daw.

Image Credits

• Howl by Sakaki Kuuya