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I understand now: Clannad sucks.

Approximately 744 minutes wasted

I hate the opening girl and robot. I used to like it, but probably for its extreme smooth CG-ness. Now it’s a lot of empty pretense with nothing to back it up. It’s not like this is ef.

I hate the OP. I’ve always hated the Key OPs with their rundown of girls and their names. I think we can keep Airhead Mamiko Noto, Ass Beater, Weaksauce Main Girl, Tsundere and her sister straight. For real. So just continue fading scenes in and out like in a real drama. A real shitty drama I wouldn’t watch. And the music sucks. Generic and bland, with the barest hint of melody, it passes by so irritatingly inoffensively, it actually offends me.

That bland softness carries to the rest of the show, too. From friendly street gangs to Okazaki and Sunohara’s implied deliquency, everything seems to have a fluffy coating around it. Actual pain, trouble, and strife are for different anime. It’s almost as if Clannad is just representing everything that happens, rather than simply showing it to us. And maybe that’s a fault of anime in general, but maybe it just sucks.

Clannad Real Life
Being trapped in a storage closet ends in awkward laughter and embarrassed sidelong glances. Being trapped in a storage closet ends in awkward sex.
Kid’s big sister went off to join a street gang at 21, and they take good care of her. Kid’s big sister went off to join a street gang at 15, and they force her into prostitution.
Everyone helps the weird weak girl who can’t act start a theater club. Everyone beats the weird girl.
One kid can help every girl in his school solve her problems. One kid can help every girl in his school solve her virginity problems.

I’m sure you can think of plenty more.

I just can’t deal with this silly chaste world anymore. American licensors like US Manga always used to run those commercials at the beginning of their tapes, with fun slogans like “this shit’s not for kids yarrrrrrrg” while showing some tooth-encrusted vagina-like orifice swallow up a guy (probably from Wicked City). How accurate that statement might have been, I dunno. But Clannad? Kids’ stuff. I’m gonna go watch Pokémon now.

Fuck these (56) Comments.

  1. lelangir says:

    Clannad: Tsundere’s exist
    Real Life: Tsundere’s don’t exist.

    But yeah, I think I enjoy Clannad for precisely the reasons you hate it.

  2. random passerby says:

    Some funny points. I don’t think however that comparing anime to real life is a reasonable approach -.- why watch anime when its about something you can see everyday away from your computer anyways? May as well watch a soap opera

    I also think that the robot/girl thing is going to be further discussed in the second half of the second season from what I’ve heard..

  3. Baka-Raptor says:

    I disagree with some of your points.

    Just kidding.

  4. Wow, you’ve got to tell us about the time(s) you got trapped in a storage closet. ‘trapped in a storage closet where sex happens’ is just FILLED with dirty insinuations.

    @ lelangir

    I married one. It happened in reverse though. All dere-dere in the beginning, the tsun-tsun lurks beneath the surface. In anime you’re shown all the tsun-tsun first and the character is made to be endearing by her ‘exposed’ dere-dere behavior as time goes on.

    In real life, everyone steps with their best foot forward (not necessarily inauthentic nor a bad thing), which should explain the lack of observable tsundere behavior in our environment.

  5. You will enjoy Clannad. If you stop comparing it to reality.

  6. biankita says:

    i think this is one of the reasons why the genre never appealed to me. but of course, this is not the only reason since if it was, i wouldn’t be enjoying half the shows that i love.

  7. IcyStorm says:

    Anime is not reality, bitch. :)

  8. otou-san says:

    @my detractors:

    I didn’t really mean to imply that this was the only reason why Clannad sucks. How about it’s not funny, it’s well animated yet all the characters look the same (especially the blue-haired girls), I don’t care about any of their retarded fake problems, and a toilet seat cover!

    As far as reality vs. anime, obviously I’m not looking for a documentary (or School Days, as the case may be). I just want something that’s not the audiovisual equivalent of a stuffed bunny rabbit.

    @Kairu specifically:

    No. No I won’t.

    @biankita:

    I’m with you. Giant robots whose pilots shout out their attack names? Not exactly the pinnacle of realism. So I don’t necessarily need believability.

    But there’s the matter of creating a world that I can believe in. Sadly, Clannad actually does that pretty well, because it follows rules of consistency. It’s just fucking dumb.

    @IcyStorm:

    Minorin was my gravatar at least a week before you, so… yeah, somehow I’ll make that part of the debate. Take that!

  9. tai says:

    I’m not sure what you mean by representation as opposed to showing, and it sounds like something that could possibly make this a much stronger argument. Comparing situations and outcomes to a disjunct understanding of real life doesn’t work when illustrating how much a show like Clannad sucks. Clannad is all about character, and being able to understand how they feel in the circumstances provided.

  10. issa-sa says:

    It doesn’t matter, those who think Clannad is funny/heart-warming/moe/realistic/relatable(*snorts*) will continue kissing the ground KyoAni walks on, the rest of us will just have better things to watch =P

  11. Koji Oe says:

    Hey guys look at me give me attention because I am trying to troll.

    Is the kind of feeling I am getting from this post.

  12. Omisyth says:

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of Macross.

  13. Martin says:

    Go watch some Detroit Metal City, you’ll feel better. Seriously.

    I can’t say I dislike Clannad but its blandness prevents me from calling it great either. It’s watchable escapism and nothing for me. The subs for the WS version seem to be a bit behind so I’d kinda forgotten about it actually…

  14. Jamal says:

    Quit hatin’

  15. otou-san says:

    @tai:

    I think I will expound on that point a little, as well as the one on character. Besides, my tone here seemed to invite the wrong kind of argument rather than reasonable debate so I’ll give it another whirl. I appreciate the input.

    @issa-sa:

    I’m going to try really hard not to cite the Kyoto Hype Machine, which I’ve long thought to be much less of an issue than people imagine, as a reason for people continuing to watch Clannad. But sometimes I wonder. Welcome back to the internets, btw.

    @koji oe:

    Hey guys, I roam around Nano until I find a post with “[show name] Sucks” in the title, then wander over to call the author a troll. One or both of us might even be right. But how about we don’t go assuming? Besides, your most recent blog post seems to support my arguments, so I don’t get your attitude.

    @Omisyth:

    SNAP

    @Martin:

    Maybe I’ll go back and check it out in WS and see how that goes, but right now I am not in any way feeling it. But DMC really does make everything better.

    @Jamal:

    It’s ok, I don’t hate the player. I hate the game.

  16. Owen S says:

    Guys, he thinks Air was actually good. YAHBT.

  17. otou-san says:

    Oh good, Owen’s here to put words in my mouth.

  18. Owen S says:

    Nope, you said it, and your statement assumes that Air was of any worth in the first place, LOL. B- trolling attempt.

  19. lolikitsune says:

    I know we talked about this over AIM, otou-san, but after seeing the masterful comments on this post (in particular, #16), I have changed my mind. The sad fact is that AIR is in fact trash as well. As such, Clannad is yardapulted into the metaphorical stratosphere of the of the out-of-ten bar. Somehow AIR’s devastating failure makes Clannad sexual. Not quite sure how that works but I’ll figure it out I’m sure. Maybe during the long nights of no internet.

    In any event, you’re wrong on all counts, otou-san. Go suck cruel angelic phallus.

  20. TheBigN says:

    This post made me lol.

    My only problem with After Story is that it’s not really giving me a reason to connect with the characters that get their brief time to shine after glances in the first series.

    And that when things get supernatural, stuff sorta starts tanking fast to me. 😛

    This new OP is definitely a large improvement of the first one, IMO. :3

  21. otou-san says:

    Owen – What are you, 8? Thanks for linking my twitter so you can plainly see that I didn’t even say “good.” I said if it was “close to as decent,” meaning something to the effect of “this makes Air look good” “holy shit I guess my standards are lowering daily.” Yes, I liked Air just fine, but I’ll address this in the next post instead of going back and forth with you like a tool.

    Lolikitsune – … I got nothing. I can’t feed this.

    TheBigN – Supernatural isn’t too terrible, if it’s done well. The fact that Fuko was a near-copy of whatshername’s story from Kanon weakened the supernatural appeal for me, and I think the world has been over the fact that her arc took up way too much valuable time in this series. That’s fair about the OP, I guess at least you’re right there. I haven’t really cared for any of the Key show OPs, but that’s my taste. Like I said, I find it bland.

  22. Owen S says:

    Good job at twisting your words, but I guess dogs do return to their own vomit. Still, nice attempt! We might just get somewhere if this goes on. Obviously you suck at the basics, but still… C+.

    I like how Drm’s classes on leaving vengeful passive-aggressive comments in a retarded manner has rubbed off on lk, but that wouldn’t be the first time stupidity osmosis of such a kind has happened to the poor sod. Superb.

  23. Oh my, what happened here?

    I’m a n00b regarding these shows (harem dramas, – my way of describing them). If I only get to watch one show/series, what should it be?

    @ Omisyth

    I *heart* you.

  24. otou-san says:

    I’ll have to get back to you on that. I may not be the best person to ask, a fact that’s probably more than obvious by now. 😀

  25. Chris says:

    It’s interesting to see a negative review of Clannad since I love this series so much. I think that I love the series for the exact opposite reason you hate the series for.

    As a older anime fan I tend to watch and value anime series that provide some form of escapism to me, that’s not to say that any shitty escapist series is OK, it must include good storytelling and character development. This post on Clannad 10 sums up what I really like about the series.

    I don’t expect my anime to conform to any type real word norms, because all media is an altered form of reality unless you actually take the pictures yourself, but then you still choose what to include and what to leave out.

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  27. FlameStrike says:

    LOL it seems like some of the reasons you hate this show are reasons I enjoy this show.

  28. Kurisu says:

    The only good thing about AIR is the opening and the production quality. Clannad? Never watched a damn episode, never will. Seen enough screenshots and heard people babbling about it. Like otou-san, I presume, I’m rather looking for something more serious, mature and inspiring. That doesn’t mean it has to be dry or strictly realistic but I think I only started to watch other stuff like comedies and harem-like shows because there’s so much more of that. Once a while some change is good anyway but I really don’t see why long-time watchers would bother with stuff like KyoAni shows which are mostly old whine in shiny new bottles. Don’t tell me it’s the same with other genre. Nothing is completely new but the everything involving school life in Japan has been recycled to death.

    Last but not least, I don’t miss school at all. The sheer mass of anime revolving around the life of students is tiresome if not sickening in itself.

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  30. jenn says:

    Hmmm. I actually don’t quite know if you’re serious. -wry- Clannad isn’t for everyone, true, but your anime vs real life points are quite funny if I ignore the sadness of the RL points.

    And OP? What OP? 😛 I reckon I skip 90% of the OP for anime I watch nowadays. Very very rarely does an OP catch my attention…sigh.

  31. otou-san says:

    Kurisu –

    Like otou-san, I presume, I’m rather looking for something more serious, mature and inspiring.

    Last but not least, I don’t miss school at all. The sheer mass of anime revolving around the life of students is tiresome if not sickening in itself.

    God you should have written my sequel post instead of me. I went the long route, you summed it up with two things. I think the school thing though is interesting — how many otaku were Okazaki-like in school? My guess is not many. I think it’s probably one of the more immediate types of wish fulfillment present in anime. Might even be worth a whole post.

    jenn – I won’t let it completely ruin a show for me, and a good OP will definitely never save an otherwise bad show, but it’s important. You’re not the only person who ignores em though. After the first episode, I do tend to skip all but the best.

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  34. FUCK YOU says:

    FUCK YOU PEOPLE!! FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING ALL UP ON A FUCKING JAPANESE CARTOON FOR? WHY DON”T YOU ALL JUST SHIT THE FUCK UP AND COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE CLANNAD AND SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS SHIT!! FUCK ALL OF YOU PEOPLE!

  35. pffter says:

    FUCKING SHITTY ANIME JAPAN IS AN ASS

  36. BUFUsan says:

    I’m a DL junkie.. so i have this Clannad and Clannad after story crap sitting on my computer.. only reason i watch it is because i can play my games at the same time…
    Now…

    i agree with your points.. and people who criticize the “real life vs clannad” comparison are completely missing the point (and going for a cheap shot while avoiding any substantiation of their views). The comparison was not made to focus on how bogus Clannad seems compared to real life, but rather to show how CONTRIVED Clannad FEELS… nevermind the real life.

    And, oh geeez.. i could really do away with the whole, force feeding the viewer all the MOE and (so to say) beef.. in a sense that it is up to a viewer to discover the character traits.. not for the characters in the story to do it inderectly for them.. the whole all-revealing monologue, and repeating 100 times to an episode something about a certain character like “ISNT FU CHAN CUUUTE??, aww, she’s so cute!!” thing gets really.. reallly.. realllly boring..

    And here’s a more important point to all this… Why are most (mostly female)characters portrayed as complete idiots?? And those that do possess any sense are either masculine or so explicitly intended as in the 2nd arc.

    Silly pranks aside.. the main male character is the only character that seems to possess any common sense or reason, when all the other characters just interact with him in the silly fasion of “OMG, I didn’t know that was bad, OMG, O RLY? OMG, Will you help me? OMG, WHY?”?

    Watching Clannad is an experience akin to masturbation, except when i’m done masturbating, i’ll have something to show for it…

  37. Someone who hates Clannad says:

    You’re right CLANNAD SUCKS!

    I dunno why people get emotional and even cried with the boring story line. Even the character designs are crap. They even made a sequel >_< which I will never watch bec. I was traumatized by how bad the 1st season went.

  38. Ihavenonameforyou says:

    Clannad is not bad, you guys only like mecha’s with girls having huge boobs.

  39. Keyfan says:

    Sounds like someone had a tough life.

  40. I Like It says:

    I love clannad, don’t care how you see it. Dumb.

  41. tamahime says:

    -_____- this is why i hate anime fans….it’s ANIME. STOP COMPARING IT TO REALITY. Anime doesn’t always have to be COMPLETELY RELATABLE.

  42. DarkJacob says:

    Clannad Haters: Your mouths are like my ass, nothing good ever comes out of it.

  43. Frostbite says:

    I don’t care about real life comparisons or how old this post is since it’s obviously still viewed and archived on the top of google’s results I looked for. Clannad fucking sucks, I hate this kind of shitty anime and somebody on netflix said it was better than Sky Crawlers in the comments/reviews section which just annoyed the shit out of me considering the complete differences between them in the first place. The cover of Clannad alone was enough to make me want to see his dorito covered otaku face in a ditch someplace.

    Also, gotta say, Koji Oe is one of the biggest tools I’ve seen that posted on this thread, good riddance. That’s about it, peace out

  44. Light in Darkness says:

    I have to agree that Clannad does have a lot of things that seem unrealistic. But to me, it’s not the sad things that seem unrealistic. It’s the good things. No, Key works don’t cover things like murder, rape, etc., but the sad things they cover like losing your parents, chronic diseases, long term comas, etc. do happen in real life and are devastating in their consequences. The good things like actually taking the time to befriend people in difficult circumstances, taking from your own personal time to contribute to their lives, and sacrificing your dream to take care of your family are what you don’t hear about too often. Ideals like that almost seem too good to be true. But they do happen. There are families that stay together. There are boys that won’t sleep with every girl that offers. Their are even people that will sacrifice their lives for total strangers. There is darkness in this world. But there is also light. And that light is not less important, or less impacting than the darkness. If anything, light shines through darkness. To me, Key is a reminder that there is beauty in this world, even if you have to look hard for it. And just one last thought: if you believe in Jesus Christ, then even the supernatural is possible.

  45. DragonBorn879 says:

    Finally someone who agrees with me about the show.The reasons why I hate it is because it’s overdramatic and irritating with uninteresting characters,boring dialogue and cutscenes that I’ve seen for who knows how many times.I really don’t get it why so many people praise it but I know that I’ve enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed K-On!,Lucky Star and The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya.But now it’s official: Kyoto Animatian is a company that simply wastes a lot of money on crappy shows making them successfully part of the mainstream even thought they have a silly plot,weak character development and annoying music while the only good thing that I’ve seen so far is the animation.There’s also Kanon out there but seeing my past experiences I’m never going to check that one out too: it’s just a waste of time and a waste of money because paying the internet bill while knowing that I’ve used it so badly is a waste of money as well as energy.Now a month afer seeing the second season of Clannad, I’ve finished wathching other 6 shows all of which left me satisfied.

  46. Valentine says:

    This guy don’t know how to enjoy an anime & says dat he don’t like clannad. I mean is he a gay or what ? XDD

  47. vilesome says:

    On another note, people are entitled to opinion and if you’re not willing to let someone rant about WHY they don’t like it, don’t comment. I (a girl mind you) have watched this from beginning to end and find that all characters were over dramatic and did not find much appeal to why people go all bat shit crazy on it.

  48. vilesome says:

    http://www.therossman.com/rrr/anime/clannad.html

    ^this guy sums up what I feel about this anime

  49. mjn says:

    Well…where to begin…

    Being trapped in a storage closet ends in awkward sex.
    Not if either of the people in there have half a bit of goddamned common sense and self control. oh wait, these characters (and most people) have BOTH. novel thought that.

    Kid’s big sister went off to join a street gang at 15, and they force her into prostitution.
    Wow, you’re delusional reality is worse than Ichi The Killer. If the girl has ties to someone in the gang, prostitution isn’t likely. especially if the girl can… oh, I dunno, kick like FUCKING CHUN LI.

    Everyone beats the weird girl.
    Nooo, nobody hits the weird girl. They avoid her and taunt her at worst. especially not them MALES.

    One kid can help every girl in his school solve her virginity problems.
    Did you just step out of the Berserk manga world or something? Seriously, not everything ends in sex because it involves a male and female.

    I LIKE Berserk and Sun Ken Rock and darker series like Monster and Pluto or hell, even Franken Fran. And those series spare pretty much nobody. But you apparently are in some delusional world where the worst happens to everyone no matter what.
    Clannad is a happy series with happy people. GET OVER IT. if you don’t like the happy genre, go elsewhere.
    I suggest the netorare hentai section, where everyone gets fucked, literally and metaphorically.

  50. I lol'd says:

    This kid is full of hatred which makes him/her unmatured, yet people are taking serious of his/her post.

    Grow up kid.

    • otou-san says:

      My problem is not being :unmatured,” [sic] rather I am old and senile. My bad. Can’t do anything for the people taking this seriously though, sorry.