I understand now: Clannad sucks.
Approximately 744 minutes wasted
I hate the opening girl and robot. I used to like it, but probably for its extreme smooth CG-ness. Now it’s a lot of empty pretense with nothing to back it up. It’s not like this is ef.
I hate the OP. I’ve always hated the Key OPs with their rundown of girls and their names. I think we can keep Airhead Mamiko Noto, Ass Beater, Weaksauce Main Girl, Tsundere and her sister straight. For real. So just continue fading scenes in and out like in a real drama. A real shitty drama I wouldn’t watch. And the music sucks. Generic and bland, with the barest hint of melody, it passes by so irritatingly inoffensively, it actually offends me.
That bland softness carries to the rest of the show, too. From friendly street gangs to Okazaki and Sunohara’s implied deliquency, everything seems to have a fluffy coating around it. Actual pain, trouble, and strife are for different anime. It’s almost as if Clannad is just representing everything that happens, rather than simply showing it to us. And maybe that’s a fault of anime in general, but maybe it just sucks.
| Clannad | Real Life |
|---|---|
| Being trapped in a storage closet ends in awkward laughter and embarrassed sidelong glances. | Being trapped in a storage closet ends in awkward sex. |
| Kid’s big sister went off to join a street gang at 21, and they take good care of her. | Kid’s big sister went off to join a street gang at 15, and they force her into prostitution. |
| Everyone helps the weird weak girl who can’t act start a theater club. | Everyone beats the weird girl. |
| One kid can help every girl in his school solve her problems. | One kid can help every girl in his school solve her virginity problems. |
I’m sure you can think of plenty more.
I just can’t deal with this silly chaste world anymore. American licensors like US Manga always used to run those commercials at the beginning of their tapes, with fun slogans like “this shit’s not for kids yarrrrrrrg” while showing some tooth-encrusted vagina-like orifice swallow up a guy (probably from Wicked City). How accurate that statement might have been, I dunno. But Clannad? Kids’ stuff. I’m gonna go watch Pokémon now.
lelangir | November 22nd, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Clannad: Tsundere’s exist
Real Life: Tsundere’s don’t exist.
But yeah, I think I enjoy Clannad for precisely the reasons you hate it.
random passerby | November 22nd, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Some funny points. I don’t think however that comparing anime to real life is a reasonable approach -.- why watch anime when its about something you can see everyday away from your computer anyways? May as well watch a soap opera
I also think that the robot/girl thing is going to be further discussed in the second half of the second season from what I’ve heard..
Baka-Raptor | November 22nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I disagree with some of your points.
Just kidding.
ghostlightning | November 22nd, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Wow, you’ve got to tell us about the time(s) you got trapped in a storage closet. ‘trapped in a storage closet where sex happens’ is just FILLED with dirty insinuations.
@ lelangir
I married one. It happened in reverse though. All dere-dere in the beginning, the tsun-tsun lurks beneath the surface. In anime you’re shown all the tsun-tsun first and the character is made to be endearing by her ‘exposed’ dere-dere behavior as time goes on.
In real life, everyone steps with their best foot forward (not necessarily inauthentic nor a bad thing), which should explain the lack of observable tsundere behavior in our environment.
Kairu Ishimaru | November 22nd, 2008 at 9:20 pm
You will enjoy Clannad. If you stop comparing it to reality.
biankita | November 22nd, 2008 at 11:19 pm
i think this is one of the reasons why the genre never appealed to me. but of course, this is not the only reason since if it was, i wouldn’t be enjoying half the shows that i love.
IcyStorm | November 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 am
Anime is not reality, bitch.
otou-san | November 23rd, 2008 at 5:20 am
@my detractors:
I didn’t really mean to imply that this was the only reason why Clannad sucks. How about it’s not funny, it’s well animated yet all the characters look the same (especially the blue-haired girls), I don’t care about any of their retarded fake problems, and a toilet seat cover!
As far as reality vs. anime, obviously I’m not looking for a documentary (or School Days, as the case may be). I just want something that’s not the audiovisual equivalent of a stuffed bunny rabbit.
@Kairu specifically:
No. No I won’t.
@biankita:
I’m with you. Giant robots whose pilots shout out their attack names? Not exactly the pinnacle of realism. So I don’t necessarily need believability.
But there’s the matter of creating a world that I can believe in. Sadly, Clannad actually does that pretty well, because it follows rules of consistency. It’s just fucking dumb.
@IcyStorm:
Minorin was my gravatar at least a week before you, so… yeah, somehow I’ll make that part of the debate. Take that!
tai | November 23rd, 2008 at 6:29 am
I’m not sure what you mean by representation as opposed to showing, and it sounds like something that could possibly make this a much stronger argument. Comparing situations and outcomes to a disjunct understanding of real life doesn’t work when illustrating how much a show like Clannad sucks. Clannad is all about character, and being able to understand how they feel in the circumstances provided.
issa-sa | November 23rd, 2008 at 7:55 am
It doesn’t matter, those who think Clannad is funny/heart-warming/moe/realistic/relatable(*snorts*) will continue kissing the ground KyoAni walks on, the rest of us will just have better things to watch =P
Koji Oe | November 23rd, 2008 at 9:39 am
Hey guys look at me give me attention because I am trying to troll.
Is the kind of feeling I am getting from this post.
Omisyth | November 23rd, 2008 at 10:05 am
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of Macross.
Martin | November 23rd, 2008 at 10:51 am
Go watch some Detroit Metal City, you’ll feel better. Seriously.
I can’t say I dislike Clannad but its blandness prevents me from calling it great either. It’s watchable escapism and nothing for me. The subs for the WS version seem to be a bit behind so I’d kinda forgotten about it actually…
Jamal | November 23rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Quit hatin’
otou-san | November 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
@tai:
I think I will expound on that point a little, as well as the one on character. Besides, my tone here seemed to invite the wrong kind of argument rather than reasonable debate so I’ll give it another whirl. I appreciate the input.
@issa-sa:
I’m going to try really hard not to cite the Kyoto Hype Machine, which I’ve long thought to be much less of an issue than people imagine, as a reason for people continuing to watch Clannad. But sometimes I wonder. Welcome back to the internets, btw.
@koji oe:
Hey guys, I roam around Nano until I find a post with “[show name] Sucks” in the title, then wander over to call the author a troll. One or both of us might even be right. But how about we don’t go assuming? Besides, your most recent blog post seems to support my arguments, so I don’t get your attitude.
@Omisyth:
SNAP
@Martin:
Maybe I’ll go back and check it out in WS and see how that goes, but right now I am not in any way feeling it. But DMC really does make everything better.
@Jamal:
It’s ok, I don’t hate the player. I hate the game.
Owen S | November 23rd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Guys, he thinks Air was actually good. YAHBT.
otou-san | November 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Oh good, Owen’s here to put words in my mouth.
Owen S | November 23rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Nope, you said it, and your statement assumes that Air was of any worth in the first place, LOL. B- trolling attempt.
lolikitsune | November 23rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I know we talked about this over AIM, otou-san, but after seeing the masterful comments on this post (in particular, #16), I have changed my mind. The sad fact is that AIR is in fact trash as well. As such, Clannad is yardapulted into the metaphorical stratosphere of the of the out-of-ten bar. Somehow AIR’s devastating failure makes Clannad sexual. Not quite sure how that works but I’ll figure it out I’m sure. Maybe during the long nights of no internet.
In any event, you’re wrong on all counts, otou-san. Go suck cruel angelic phallus.
TheBigN | November 23rd, 2008 at 3:10 pm
This post made me lol.
My only problem with After Story is that it’s not really giving me a reason to connect with the characters that get their brief time to shine after glances in the first series.
And that when things get supernatural, stuff sorta starts tanking fast to me.
This new OP is definitely a large improvement of the first one, IMO. :3
otou-san | November 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Owen – What are you, 8? Thanks for linking my twitter so you can plainly see that I didn’t even say “good.” I said if it was “close to as decent,” meaning something to the effect of “this makes Air look good” “holy shit I guess my standards are lowering daily.” Yes, I liked Air just fine, but I’ll address this in the next post instead of going back and forth with you like a tool.
Lolikitsune – … I got nothing. I can’t feed this.
TheBigN – Supernatural isn’t too terrible, if it’s done well. The fact that Fuko was a near-copy of whatshername’s story from Kanon weakened the supernatural appeal for me, and I think the world has been over the fact that her arc took up way too much valuable time in this series. That’s fair about the OP, I guess at least you’re right there. I haven’t really cared for any of the Key show OPs, but that’s my taste. Like I said, I find it bland.
Owen S | November 23rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Good job at twisting your words, but I guess dogs do return to their own vomit. Still, nice attempt! We might just get somewhere if this goes on. Obviously you suck at the basics, but still… C+.
I like how Drm’s classes on leaving vengeful passive-aggressive comments in a retarded manner has rubbed off on lk, but that wouldn’t be the first time stupidity osmosis of such a kind has happened to the poor sod. Superb.
ghostlightning | November 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Oh my, what happened here?
I’m a n00b regarding these shows (harem dramas, – my way of describing them). If I only get to watch one show/series, what should it be?
@ Omisyth
I *heart* you.
otou-san | November 23rd, 2008 at 6:57 pm
I’ll have to get back to you on that. I may not be the best person to ask, a fact that’s probably more than obvious by now.
Chris | November 23rd, 2008 at 7:00 pm
It’s interesting to see a negative review of Clannad since I love this series so much. I think that I love the series for the exact opposite reason you hate the series for.
As a older anime fan I tend to watch and value anime series that provide some form of escapism to me, that’s not to say that any shitty escapist series is OK, it must include good storytelling and character development. This post on Clannad 10 sums up what I really like about the series.
I don’t expect my anime to conform to any type real word norms, because all media is an altered form of reality unless you actually take the pictures yourself, but then you still choose what to include and what to leave out.
Shameful Otaku Secret! » Clannad sucks, part 2 | November 23rd, 2008 at 9:09 pm
[...] commenter, tai, who seemed to actually want to talk about it, cited “character” as the driving force behind Clannad, specifically “being able to understand how they feel in the circumstances [...]
FlameStrike | November 24th, 2008 at 3:02 am
LOL it seems like some of the reasons you hate this show are reasons I enjoy this show.
Kurisu | November 30th, 2008 at 12:12 am
The only good thing about AIR is the opening and the production quality. Clannad? Never watched a damn episode, never will. Seen enough screenshots and heard people babbling about it. Like otou-san, I presume, I’m rather looking for something more serious, mature and inspiring. That doesn’t mean it has to be dry or strictly realistic but I think I only started to watch other stuff like comedies and harem-like shows because there’s so much more of that. Once a while some change is good anyway but I really don’t see why long-time watchers would bother with stuff like KyoAni shows which are mostly old whine in shiny new bottles. Don’t tell me it’s the same with other genre. Nothing is completely new but the everything involving school life in Japan has been recycled to death.
Last but not least, I don’t miss school at all. The sheer mass of anime revolving around the life of students is tiresome if not sickening in itself.
Fallen Aizen » Clannad After Story - 07 and 08 | December 4th, 2008 at 12:33 am
[...] arc was pretty ok and I don’t know what some of the other people were thinking by making posts especially dedicated to defame Clannad. If you don’t like it, why bother watch or even spend [...]
jenn | December 15th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Hmmm. I actually don’t quite know if you’re serious. -wry- Clannad isn’t for everyone, true, but your anime vs real life points are quite funny if I ignore the sadness of the RL points.
And OP? What OP?
I reckon I skip 90% of the OP for anime I watch nowadays. Very very rarely does an OP catch my attention…sigh.
otou-san | December 15th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Kurisu –
God you should have written my sequel post instead of me. I went the long route, you summed it up with two things. I think the school thing though is interesting — how many otaku were Okazaki-like in school? My guess is not many. I think it’s probably one of the more immediate types of wish fulfillment present in anime. Might even be worth a whole post.
jenn – I won’t let it completely ruin a show for me, and a good OP will definitely never save an otherwise bad show, but it’s important. You’re not the only person who ignores em though. After the first episode, I do tend to skip all but the best.
12 Days Project, Day 6 | Legend of the Otakufiend | December 19th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
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2008 in Review: Slowblog.jpg › Cruel Angel Theses | December 31st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
[...] also the reason I removed my limiter for a moment and gave otou-san both barrels–because his first attempt was terrible. In that single post (and I’m not trying to take you down a peg for that, [...]
FUCK YOU | March 18th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
FUCK YOU PEOPLE!! FUCK ALL YOU PEOPLE!! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING ALL UP ON A FUCKING JAPANESE CARTOON FOR? WHY DON”T YOU ALL JUST SHIT THE FUCK UP AND COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT SOME PEOPLE LIKE CLANNAD AND SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS SHIT!! FUCK ALL OF YOU PEOPLE!
pffter | June 12th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
FUCKING SHITTY ANIME JAPAN IS AN ASS