Shameful Otaku Secret!

We use “harem” around here, never “bitches”

My kind of meme is the kind that happened two years ago. IcyStorm revived this classy post idea a couple days ago, so I’m going to jump on this newly-renovated bandwagon. If you’ve been hanging out here the past week or so waxing economical and philosophical for Industry Defib (thanks Kabitzin) and you weren’t aware of just what kind of internet neighborhood this was, I’m going to move the horse’s underwire aside now. Or whatever.

My personal harem!

I really didn’t follow any of the rules Icy mentioned, except for the “no-characters-newer-than-6-months one.” But mostly because none of them made the cut (Noe Isurugi? I did date her once, in college. No fun). As an added bonus, I made a short list of girls who will never appear in my harem. So, without further brainpower, I give you this collection of obviousness:

1. Belldandy (Ah! My Goddess!). You have to ask? When everyone else gets you down, that’s who you’d end up going to for a quiet evening of completely platonic relations for seemingly thousands of episodes. According to Danbooru, she’s good in a gangbang too, but according to Danbooru, who isn’t? You sick puppies, this is Belldandy! Have you no scruples?

2. Tsukasa Hiiragi (Lucky☆Star). Give her a new cell phone, then just sit back and enjoy.

3. Winry Rockbell (Fullmetal Alchemist). I do try to avoid FMA references (for no good reason), but gnaw on this: When your car breaks down, Belldandy could just wish it better, but you can’t just take advantage of Belldandy all day like that! For shame. Plus, a girl with a wrench is just fantabulous! Since everyone here is a cartoon and I don’t actually get to have to have sex with any of them, you could exchange her for Leeron, for all I care. I just need a mechanic who knows Volkswagens.

4. Kaname Chidori (Full Metal Panic!). Who among us is so bad-ass we wouldn’t need someone to bail us out of a hairy situation every now and then? Chiko from 20 Faces could kick some ass for you too, but even for you sick anime fans she’s underage, and every harem needs a few comedic smacks of the harisen per episode.

5. Marjorie Daw (Shakugan No Shana). In a series known for tsunderes, she’s the queen of them all. She’d go shot-for-shot with me on that cheap whiskey on top of my fridge, and it’s impossible to be jealous of her best male friend, since he’s a goddam book. I almost went with Misato Katsuragi for old times’ sake since she’s good with the booze and probably comes with Pen-Pen too, but damn, all that baggage…

Obligatory Maid: Chiyo and otou-san’s maid from Sakaki’s dream.

What? Don’t judge me.

Girls not appearing in this harem:

1. Kazumi Yoshida. Just. Kill. Yourself. Damn.
2. Any member of the Clannad cast. So obvious. I get it, Kyou is the hottest cartoon character evar.
3. Misa Misa. High maintenance and clingy. Never a good sign.
4. The ef girls. Wait, wait — How many voicemails?
5. Haruko Haruhara. IcyStorm went with her, and I greatly respect that choice, but I prefer to keep my head where it is and the pirate robots in space where they belong.
6. Mamiko Noto. Sadly, she is real, and ineligible for consideration.

- otou-san out!

Posted Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Categories: Clannad, Shakugan No Shana, rambles
Tags: harem,lists,womens