Shameful Otaku Secret!

Featuring Round 5 recap

Round 5 (aka episode 6 for both Kanokon and To Love-Ru) was another upset for the champ, but not really because TLR did anything too great. Kanokon gave us little to go on other than Chizuru‘s sexy board game and some foot action underneath the kotatsu. That’s not good for much in a show where we’ve seen bare-assed spankings. TLR continued to dedicate itself to the old school with Haruna probably being tentacle-raped.

There are really so many, so many, just a LOT of things wrong with any sentence featuring the words “probably tentacle-raped,” and if that show makes me say it again, it loses by default. Here’s a screen that should stop you from wanting to see it.

On to current happenings! Clicking “read more” may actually be NSFW, depending on where you work (Jason…)

To Love-Ru

This episode focused on Ren, Lala‘s childhood friend. She abused him, dressed him up like a girl, and she calls him a crybaby. He took to heart when one day she said she’d marry him if he became really, really, manly. So, that’s his goal.

++ A focus on manliness, including a poorly-executed Rocky montage. Well, that can’t be bad, even if a certain fansub group translated it into a certain 4chan word. That’s pretty bush league, especially with this debate going around right now. Do you want to be taken seriously or do you want to dick around? Can’t have it both ways. Translator’s note: replace this made-up word with the word the characters are actually saying. In short, do my job. It’s also a poor use of the word. Ren’s no Kamina. This is not TLR‘s fault, which officially makes this a digression when I’m trying to be concise today…

+ A child trap. That’s always funny, good for a gosh-those-Japanese-sure-hate-the-gays kind of laugh. It also proves that To Love-Ru can be at least as edgy as Itazura Na Kiss, a show based on a girls’ manga written in the 90s. Burn! Score one for me, and I’m not even playing.

- Not showing a man-kiss. You really want the gross-out factor of idiot-on-idiot action, you have to show it to us. What a cop-out — that sums up in a scene the lack of daring that TLR consistently demonstrates.

+ Cut during the fighting. “This scene is too intense, so enjoy this footage instead.” Which is of course, bathtime — first Mikan and Lala, then Haruna. This could be two pluses but, cheap bastards, we’ve seen this footage before.

+ Ranma-style gender switching. If this character sticks around, the potential for silliness and nudiness will increase, but it’s old hat really. This is almost a pity plus.

Kanokon

This episode is about the same thing they all are. Someone shows up to try and break Kouta and Chizuru up. They combine and defeat the whatever, then blah blah panties.

++ Nipples. Technically they’re not nipples, they’re pasties that look a lot like nipples. They’re obviously not nipples to the censors, because they’re shaped like hearts. Small, pink, nipply hearts.

+ Thong. First time, I think, but it makes those “special” camera angles that much more special.

+ The twins. Their “survival” skills are good for a laugh, especially the kind store owner who puts out meat in a big bucket every day, lulz.

+ Molestation. It’s really what Kanokon is about, isn’t it?

+++ Handjob. Finally, Kankon regains its ability to shock and horrify me. Tell me that’s not what’s going on! You can’t! You caaaaaaan’t!

– Combat. Ugh. Stop it already. For at least 1/4 of every episode lately, I feel like InuYasha came on or something. Dear Kanokon: this isn’t what you do, you’re not good at it, give it up. Love, mike.

Score recap

Kanokon: 6

To Love-Ru: 4

And the champ is back on top, presumably where it likes to be, if you know what I mean. The collective score in the series up until now: Kanokon 4, To Love-Ru 2. Considering Kanokon was pulled from a streaming service in Japan that was showing it (presumably for being too risqué), I don’t see those numbers changing in the near future.