Golgo 13 Episode 4

Just as planned

Yeah, you know what? I need to edit my sidebar, because I’m about done with Geass. Not watching, it’s become enough of a train wreck that it’s more entertaining than ever, with more twists than M. Night Shamalyan in an Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shop. It’s just that there are almost as many people blogging it as there are subbing it, and I can’t think of anything more interesting to say than for instance, Derailed By Darry. So LeDouche’s spot is now occupied by a grab bag of whatever the fuck I feel like, especially under-appreciated shows that other people aren’t blogging much. I aim to cover Real Drive, Daughter of Twenty Faces, and Golgo 13, among others.

Did you not catch the guy at the end of every Next Episode preview?

Plot? Killing people, what the hell else?

Linda is a real life Pretty Woman, a former prostitute who’s now the young trophy wife of a Manhattan mafia boss. She’s supposed to be pretty I guess, but no one’s really pretty in this show, which seems to be filtered through the jaded eyes of Duke Togo himself. She’s not exactly happy with her status, though.

The image of Duke frolicking through Florida with Mickey Mouse haunts my nightmares now

Linda wants to break free from her marital bonds, so she hires Duke to kill her husband, Boss Marty. After a whole lot of doublecrossing, she gets her way — but when she tries to grab Duke for herself, she finds out the hard way that he does not give a shit about… well, anything, really.

What We’ve Learned

Duke will kill a bitch. Straight up, faster than he’ll bone her, even. But ladies, they want the Duke. Linda can’t even look at him without a noir-sex fantasy leaping to her brain accompanied by embarrassing moans that make your wife wonder just what kind of TV show you’re watching in there.

Series synopsis theatre, episode 1

There are people who are better at some things than Duke. Like mafia man Billy, who manages to get the draw on our non-hero with his ultra-fast hands. But is Golgo 13 gonna let a man with those kinds of skeelz live? Hell no. He’ll find a way to make sure his draw hand is tied before shooting. And that will cause said man to explain exactly how he was defeated by the Duke, using his final breath.

The lesson here is, of course, don’t be better than Golgo 13 at anything. Ever.

They all look the same to us roundeyes, anyways

There is nothing on TV more ridiculous than Golgo 13. It’s so noir, it makes NYPD Blue look like Sesame Street, and Sam Spade wet his pants just at the sight of Duke. But that over-the-top aspect is what makes it so fun. And it may be silly, but it’s hard for me to deny the appeal of the fact that there is at least one show on the air with its sniper sights aimed squarely at the seinen demographic, with absolutely no concessions to moe or anything else in the trends. You might even see some junk if you’re not careful.

Series synopsis theatre, episode 2

Golgo 13 is a faithful re-enactment that could exist in any of the five decades that the manga has been around. And besides, what show in your current anime lineup isn’t ridiculous in some way?

Fuck these (3) Comments.

  1. Kabitzin says:

    Here’s a tip for all the ladies: M16 cosplay.

  2. Shin says:

    Didn’t like this episode much, as that whore was annoying as hell. Also, I wished Golgo fought Billy on equal terms, even if we know that Golgo would win anyway.

  3. otou-san says:

    @Shin I thought it was all about how Duke couldn’t win, so he created a situation where the footing wasn’t equal. He’s a sneaky assassin, not a samurai.

    @Kabitzin that sounds… hot?