H2O ~ Footprints in the Sand Ep. 9
Hozumi
Sometimes Kyon’s narration from Haruhi slips into my anime-related internal dialog, for instance, “Why am I watching this show? If there’s anyone out there with the answer, please let me know.” Well, I’ve found the answer. Every time you spot a well-worn anime cliché or seriously yell at the screen “I fucking knew that 6 episodes ago” or, you know, you just spot something that makes your brain tired — Drink.
Poontang! Did I get it right?
Recap: Welcome to the H2O drinking game.
Takuma sees bells everywhere, which reminds him: he has some bell that his obviously-dead mother used to wear, in some hazy flashback scenes where he reaches out but she’s walking away from him [take a fucking drink], and he brings it to school.
I’m leaving now, Takuma. Have a drink, kid.
Coincidentally, in a typical sweat-bead misunderstanding that’s become this show’s stock in trade, if a boy brings a bell to school during this festival that’s about to happen, he’s supposed to give it to a girl. And I guess that’s tantamount to obligation chocolates or something to that effect. Wow, how coincidental. Or whatever. Drink for the hell of it.
You get this yet? Anyway, a bunch of nameless girls (and Cross-dress) argue over who’s going to get the bell because there are apparently no other boys in this Village of the Damned [drink]. Platform Shoes even thinks she’s going to get the bell, which is a “funny” situation. The bell breaks, though, and Hayami takes it home to fix it.
Umm… It’s about the budget. We’re going to make them look at a medium shot of the back of our heads for at least 3 minutes this episode. If we can push it to 7, well that’d be just great.
Some thugs burn down Hayami’s train car because even though children can overcome the past, adults are terrible people yadda yadda [drink].
Yeah! That homeless little girl who lives in an old train car, she’ll destroy us all! Fuck!
Uncle Toughass lets her stay at the house, and then affects a worried look when the topic is raised at the village meeting, because there’s more to him than you imagined by his Dragonball looks [drink]. Hayami being at the house of course causes “funny” misunderstandings, like the ol’ “accidental peek in the bath” chestnut [drink], which bothers me for two reasons: one, haven’t they done that before? Like eight times? Maybe it’s just me. And two, Hayami really doesn’t know how to work a shower? Sure, she lives alone in a railroad car, but wasn’t she the richest person in town before the tragic events of the stupid past? Anyway, there’s a lot of steam covering up the details in the image (that means nipples, get it, also means drink.)
I always thought salting watermelons was weird. Now that I know the Japanese do it, this is confirmed.
I digress. To the tune of that faux-ragtime crap that plays when Yui’s on screen.
Hayami blah, Takuma tells her blah tragic past incident about a mother blah, and eventually when she goes to give him back the bell in the obligatory running-while-wearing-a-Yukata scene [take a big swig, sister], seriously this show is a bunch of clichés strung together without any reason, he says “hey can you keep that, sugar britches?” She says sure, and finally the wild girl is tamed and they smoooch under the moonlight. Apparently, Hota-Hina-whoever gave up. Reward yourself with a drink for making it through this tripe.
Like the satisfaction of getting to the Barry Manilow show on time, coupled with the disappointment of your realization that it’s Barry Fucking Manilow… Looks like we made it.
What We’ve Learned
I think I might hate this show. But now I’m drunk.
Itadakimasu! Now, wash down this scene of young girls enjoying phallic treats with… a drink!
Thoughts
Is there anything to think about? They’ve now given me no reason to wait for next episode, even the horse heads were gone, and I cared so little to begin with. Now I’m pretty sure I’m at the bottom of my Bag of Fucks, and I just can’t give any more to H2O.
- otou-san out!
