Shameful Otaku Secret!

Strategy Guide

What you say?

I realize I lost some people last week, so here’s a summary in advance. One run-on sentence apiece.

To Love-Ru: Some heretofore-unintroduced Queen of the School starts a rivalry with Lala and ends up mistakenly blasting Lala’s space-capsule bedroom into the sky — it’s a lot like that one episode of Ah! My Goddess but with nudity.

Kanokon: Nozumu’s brother puts a magical abstinence bracelet on Kouta, but the combined force of all the furries plus the Kouta/Chizuru combo defeats him and he takes it off — it’s a lot like Inuyasha with nudity.

But instead of our normal deathmatch recap, let’s take a minute to examine strategy. How have these two players put their game together? Read on to find out… Witness the horror! Read on!

- otou-san out!

Revisited

As Geass wraps plot twist after plot twist around their poncy little pastry (or is it, more likely, a calzone?) and stuff it with a filling of cheesy fanservice, there is other really good stuff on right now as well, stuff that gets me going like a cellphone in a young kabuki maiden’s pocket.

Kyouran Kazoku Nikki

Watching Kyouka on TV kind of makes me wonder if this is what Kyon and the SOS Brigade felt like. I love how she calls the audience “pigs.” Why does Yuuko have to be such a punching bag, though? I thought this was a comedy. My overall impression is still kind of ho-hum — such a random premise has to do some weird shit just to hold up week after week, and I’m not sure dramatic elements are right — but there’s a lot worse out there. Plus, Ginka’s managed to be gay and GAR at the same time.

Kurenai

Still being straight-up awesome. This week’s episode was light-hearted characterization, but the writing is so smart, there’s no way you could call it filler. Why do I like Kurenai so much? Because unlike any other male anime lead, Shinkurou seems like someone I might actually let babysit my kid. Certainly the only one with a bony weapon growing out of his arm. But what bothers me is, with Yayoi following them all the time, isn’t Benika effectively paying for two bodyguards? Animation continues to be good, though some character designs still put me off in a weird way.

Toshokan Sensou

What a blast. Aside from a totally ridiculous premise — basically an amped-up version of Fahrenheit 451 in which books are highly regulated but libraries are self-governed paramilitary organizations — this is a great series with a twist: it’s one part action and one part shoujo, which gives it a unique feel. Rarely outside of a true girls’ series is there such a winning female lead. And Production IG’s digitally-assisted animation tops their work on Blood+.

Special A

I don’t know why I’m still doing it, perhaps I like Jun Fukuyama more than I let on. I have now taken to watching the OP and ED because the singing is so incredibly awful. Rubbernecking at a train wreck, as it were.

Golgo 13

This week’s episode was boooooring. Blah blah blah guns, blah blah M-16, blah blah let’s try to kill Golgo 13. News flash, dumbass: HE CAN’T BE KILLED. Get back to Duke fucking a prostitute and assassinating someone, already. Still the GARest thing that will ever be on TV.

The Tower of Druaga

There’s a YouTube hack that lets you save any vid with a high-quality version into an mp4 on your computer, which is nice because I can watch it on my iPhone. I might be squandering Gonzo’s good will, but I call Fair Use, bitches. Especially when the iPhone/Touch’s actual YouTube app allows access to about jack shit percent of the videos on YouTube as a whole. Getting away from all that, this show has amped up its charm over 5 episodes, and when combined with free legitimate release and an amazing OP, it makes a series you really should be watching.

Kaiba

This.

This. Kaiba. This is why I wanted to write an “other shows” post to begin with. Sometimes we need to be reminded, with all the clichés and harems we both enjoy and deride in equal measure, why we started watching anime. Kaiba is why. Haters, stop bitching about vapid shows like Kanokon and To Love-Ru and start putting an antidote in front of your eyes. Lightly “H” series with tons of panties and a grade-schooler’s perception of sex are not “adult” — they share only ink and acetate in common with this very adult show. In the space of three episodes, it’s managed to be imaginative, fascinating, sexy, unsettling, and even heartbreaking. All with a design that looks deceptively like a kid’s show.

A lot’s been made of the animation, to me it’s a strong suit. Madhouse is usually very straightforward in style, but they manage to get crazy when it counts, for instance Satoshi Kon’s stuff. Here, they’re doing absolutely amazing things. Just watch the OP, you’ll see they mean business.

- otou-san out!

Ask Sheryl

Diru Sheryru,
All my friends have breast implants and cybernetic vibro-tron vaginas. Then I see these monstrous Zentradi women with their blue hair and easy upskirt potential. How can I compete?
-Sadly My Assets a Little Liliputian, Tiny In the Torso

Dear Small Tits,
Don’t worry! I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but I’m alllll natural. In this day and age, especially on Galaxy, that’s really the exotic thing. By not sticking out, you’re standing out. By the way, have you heard the term “loli?”
♥Sheryl

Dear Sheryl,
I recently started dating a really sweet guy. He’s smart, a little bit of a bad boy, and he races cars! Problem is, I’m worried that he might be prettier than me. I’m no slouch, but his hair is just lustrous, and his skin is like soft porcelain.
-Worried, Hesitant About Trap

Dear What,
Oh, honey, if this is the least of your problems, then let it go! Don’t you know that men that pretty are all self-absorbed and wouldn’t dare be seen with a scrub? That must mean there’s at least something hot about you, even if it’s just your fashion sense. Take it as a compliment, but don’t let it go to your head. You’ll keep him around as arm candy a lot longer if you make him think he’s still the fanciest frog on the lily pad.
♥Sheryl

Oh Sherry,
I recently got dumped by my boyfriend. He was a pilot. You know, like the song? This is a little embarrassing to ask, but frankly I’ve been… frisky lately, and unable to shall we say vent the tension? I know you spend long periods of time on tour, and I thought maybe you might have some advice.
-Holding Out for Really Nice Yeoman

Dear Horny,
First, don’t invoke Steve Perry, you know those are old wounds! Second, do you have a cell phone?
♥Sheryl

Dear Sheryl,
How do you keep inspired? I’d like to become a singer too! I am small, but I have big dreams! I do have a muse, though. He’s very pretty.
-Hopeful Optimist On Frontier

Dear Hoof (?),
There seems to be a theme today. Well, at any rate, what you need to remember is that inspiration can strike you at any moment, so be prepared for it! I carry a pen and paper all the time in case I need to write lyrics, and if my stupid date has used all the paper to make paper airplanes, I’ll improvise if I have to. Also, rest assured: there will always be a backup band when you really need one.
♥Sheryl

Editor’s Note

Well, it’s a good Macross post if I spent entirely too much time on it. With Ranka’s surprised and disappointed glimpse at Alto and Sheryl on their “star date,” as the episode is titled, trace the exact moment that the Macross Triangle Effect began in earnest. The internet is ablaze this week with people absolutely loving Sheryl, in spite of the internet’s tendency toward rampant pedophilia (was that overly mean?), and I’m with them! Her Bitch Quotient is way down, but that might be because nothing’s standing in her way right now. She says (quite sexfully) that she likes Alto because he doesn’t treat her like a star, so what happens when the Kabuki Novelty is over?

Animation quality, on the other hand is sinking almost as fast as Leon’s rep. I hope they’re not running out of cash already. No bother, though — it’s still good, and hopefully they’re just saving for the next space battle. Either way, Macross is still my jam for this season. Also, have some ice cream.

- otou-san out!